Joyce in Okinawa

Okinawa: the triumphant return PHOTO ALBUM!

2009-07-05T01:52:00.002+09:00

At long last! I returned to Okinawa 2 months ago, and am only now putting up photos of the trip. In case any of you readers are still signed up to the RSS feed for this blog, I thought you would be pleased to see some of the old haunts return in these photos :-)

Okinawa 2009

It was a great trip. Full of happy, full of sad... mostly natsukashii in a way that perhaps only my fellow Okinawa JETs can appreciate.

Visualize Okinawa

2009-04-15T11:22:00.004+09:00

In case any of you readers are still out there two years later, yesterday I input this blog's URL into Wordle and here is the resulting visualization based on the frequency of words used over all the entries... pretty neat to see it laid out this way!
On another note, I am finally making my triumphant return to Okinawa! I'll be headed there to hang with the remainders of my crew (Yvonne, Nancy, Amie, Jamie, Ayumi, Junko, Chiye!) on May 1. I may just post some photos here from the trip...

Things I will miss

2007-08-04T12:52:00.000+09:00

The sun breaking through the clouds outside my apartment

Well, here I am. Last day in Okinawa. I've been walking around in a bit of a daze. Every time I do anything I find myself thinking, "this is the last time I will make coffee here. This is the last time I will drive down the 58 to Chatan. This is the last time I'll take out the trash" and I get all teary. Of all the countries and places I've lived, Okinawa has by far been my favorite and made the deepest impression on me (not counting my home town of Chapel Hill, mochiron). It will be hard to leave, and impossible to forget. In order to come to terms a bit with my departure, I've spent some time thinking about what I will miss here. I'm sharing my list with you! Some random photos inserted.

THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT OKINAWA

-The blue sky, wider than anywhere else in the world!
-The ocean: deep blue or sparkling green, always in sight
-The ever-present sea breeze
-Warm soybeans with salt
-The smell of tatami when you enter a house
-Futons for sleeping
-Taking off your shoes. Indoor slippers.

-Tropical flowers, overrunning sidewalks and concrete every which way
-The Tea Lady, always bustling about, clattering cups and boiling water
-Little peeping voices at school, "good-o morning-u Joyce-sensei!"
-The Japanese culture of napping and snacking
-Beni-imo ice cream. Orion beeru
-Weekends with Tonaki Jon at my place; Yvonne in her box-apaato; Jeffu
-Snorkeling: the beautiful world under the water. Coral. Nemo.

-The reef, waves breaking out to sea instead of at your feet.
-Sea chicken mayo onigiri
-Junko-sensei's laugh. Ginowan High school and its teachers
-Izakayas
-Chatan and the many walks, talks, and lattes shared with friends there.
-The Ferris wheel: emblem of Mihama
-Gajimaru (banyan) trees and their magnificent roots-The crazy man who wears a bushel of plastic flowers on his bike helmet and lives at my intersection
-Jusco! Mr. Donut! Arinkurin! Lawson's! Paul and Mike's! Hinotama Hall! Blue Seal! the Tropical Beach, Sunset Mihama, Okume, Sunabe seawall, Fabu, Day's Café, my neighborhood GEO (even though I left without paying my 4000yen fine!)
-Islands… Tokashiki, Tonaki, Kume, Miyako, Ishigaki, Iriomote, Okinawa
-Street festivals and eisa dancing
-Caramel popcorn at the movies
-Pericula with friends
-Sitting on the floor in restaurants
-The ceremony of shoes
-Cellphone accessories
-The ping-pong
-Turtle-back tombs: stately and quiet among the weeds, behind the houses, everywhere
-Shiny happy people (shiny because they're sweating, happy because they're in Okinawa)
-Tuesday night dinner's at Deej's
-Bento boxes at school lunch
-Cute-ness: appropriate for everyone!
-Engrish engrish everywhere
-Christina and Amy in Nago
-Sunsets from my balcony. From my beach. From the high way. From everywhere!

-Karaoke with friends
-Cicadas in the morning, like an army of minstrels attacking the island at full blast
-Naps and deep thoughts on the matter of Life in the teacher's dusty tatami room, where no one ever went but me.

last but not least...
-203 koupo shima: my little quiet home by the sea.

1. view from my kitchen window
2. view from my balcony

Just so this whole thing doesn't sound too sappy, there are a few things I won't miss about Okinawa:

1. The lack of road names, combined with people's general inability to give directions to the simplest place where they have been a million times
2. pig ear cartilage as a snack

BYE EVERYONE! THANKS FOR SHARING OKINAWA WITH ME!

The Last Goodbyes...

2007-08-04T04:12:00.000+09:00

Last night was my farewell party/my successor's welcome party with Ginowan High School. It was sad but fun. I think I cried about 5 times, mostly every time someone gave me a farewell gift or asked me to make a speech. Above is a foto of me and the young gang remaining after all others had headed home.

Despite not speaking any Japanese , Ann (my successor) got on quite well with everyone. You can see her in the photo to the left. The dude in front had tried to convince her that he was a samurai and is reaching for a spoon to attack her with. For some reason (we'll blame it on the liquor) Matto-sensei has stuck some chopsticks in his nose. Cute-o!

The saddest part was saying farewell to Shouko, who has been my best Japanese friend here in Okinawa. Junko -sensei has probably been my closest and most constant companion, but Shouko is more a friend who is my age. We used to all three have our desks in a row: Shouko, Junko, Joyce, before me and Junko moved up to the LL. There we are to the right, I am wearing Jun's glasses in their suggested librarian pose. Shouko gave me bingata that she had made herself, and we had a long, tearful, and slightly intoxicated goodbye. I'll miss you, Ginowan High School senseis!

The empty house

2007-08-04T03:48:00.001+09:00

Well. By 4pm Wednesday the entire house was emptied of vestiges of Joyce and I stood staring at my flowers -- the last thing that seemed to be a part of my life in Okinawa in the apartment -- waiting for my successor to arrive. Those were my last moments of quiet contemplation in my house before ownership moved on to someone else. It is sad leaving my little house, which has become very dear to me over the course of the year. It is odd to be sharing it with my successor these past 2 days: realizing that all "my" things really belong to her now, and watching her clothes get hung on my rack and toothbrush sitting in my holder. It was an accidental overlap due to a mix-up in her arrival date, I hadn't planned to be here at the same time as here. It has worked out well though seeing as I can show her around and stuff.

I almost feel like a ghost here. It just so happened that almost all my close friends left Okinawa a few days before me on trips, leaving me alone my last couple days (guilt trip, guilt trip, guilt trip!)
But! When I've started feeling too much like my life in Okinawa has suddenly disappeared these last few days, I just stop to sniff my flowers (a gift from Jeffu on his and Jon's last day here) and that cheers me up. Tomorrow I leave in the afternoon on the bus to Naha, to stay at Deej's (empty) pad for one night in order to easily arrive at the airport early Sunday morning. I think I will post one or two more things tomorrow morning on the blog... a final farewell to Okinawa!

Los Gaijin Iro Iro

2007-08-02T12:07:00.001+09:00

In honor of our gang's breakup, I created a poster for me, Jeff, and Jon's imaginary country band. Yvonne is going to be our manager, fyi. During one of our many outings to the America Mura in Chatan, we stumbled upon a secret store of rainbow cowboy hats, and took lots of photos of ourselves in them. Apparently, all Americans wear these. After a democratic vote on everyone's suggestions for our new country band's name, we ended up with Los Gaijin Iro Iro: "los" is of course the Spanish definite article, "gaijin" is what foreigners are called here, and "iro iro" means "various" in Japanese. None of our Japanese skills are very graceful, but hopefully one gets the picture from our band name;-) Here we are, hung on a fake wall and all!

More Goodbyes

2007-08-02T11:12:00.000+09:00

Before anything else happens, you need to take a look at my swell new socks to the left. I got these in Kyoto.

This week has been very busy and full of goodbyes (thus me not posting very faithfully to the blog). I've now seen all JETs for the last time (Jon Wieser even forgot his passport on Tonaki island and missed his flight to Canada JUST to get another few days with me;-). I've waved farewell to Jeff at the airport, had a farewell brunch with Junko-sensei and her family, tonight I have a farewell dinner with the librarians from school, and then tomorrow is my farewell party with all the teachers from Ginowan High. Here are a few photos from my goodbyes:
Me and Yvonne, one last outing to the beach

Tim, me, Michael: one last bash at Paul and Mike's

Jon W., Yvonne, me, and Jeff: the gang's final time at Paul and Mike's!

Me and Christina's last night out dancing at Hinotama Hall

Bye to Abhi and Robyn...

There were many more photos and many more people present and goodbyes that occurred, but many of you have probably already seen all these photos on Facebook or Snapfish so I won't relive them all for you! In any case, thank you everyone for coming out Saturday, thank you Jon for accidentally missing your flight and spending an extra few quality days with us, thank you Chrissy and boys for hauling yourselves down from way up north to say goodbye, thank you Yvonne for an excellent farewell feast last night!

I'll miss all you JETs.

Some Kyoto Pics

2007-07-29T14:57:00.000+09:00

I'll keep updating this entry to add more photos and maybe tell you what they are of as well! Check back on it.
1. Fushimi-Inara temple (famous for hundreds of red torii)
2. Kinkakuji temple (that's real gold, folks!)
3. Lilypads on a temple garden
4. Sanjuusan gendou temple (famous for 1001 statues of the goddess of mercy)
5. Arashiyama bamboo groves
6. A geisha hurrying to an appt. in Gion, Kyoto
7. Covered bridge in garden, Kyoto

The First Goodbyes...

2007-07-27T15:46:00.001+09:00

Ahhh, it's begun! My week of goodbyes and tragedy. Blow after blow, they come! Monday lunch was "goodbye" with my pericula girlfriends, Tuesday was the last supper with Deej (since she flew to Shanghai yesterday), and last night was the goodbye you see above (L-R: Amie, Dan, me, Nancy, Jon D., Yvonne). Sniffles, sniffles, sniffles. As a side note, those are little bowls of pig ear that we are eating in the photo. I have also completed packing one suitcase and have rid myself of no less than 3 garbage bags worth of real things. Like clothes. Magnificent.

The countdown begins: 9 days until I board the plane!

Pericula

2007-07-25T11:12:00.000+09:00

This thing you see to your left is the miraculous Japanese invention: the pericula: tiny stickers of you and your friends that you decorate on a computer. This particular one is decorated by yours truly yesterday at a goodbye lunch with my 3 best teacher-friends from school. In every video arcade or mall there is an area of pericula machines. The machine is a large rectangle with 2 booths: one large one in which you pose and take your pictures, and one smaller one, where you decorate the photos on the computer. There are usually different booths with different themes. The booth's theme this photo was made in was "pretty pink". There are a daunting number of options when making pericula. You can have the booth take your photo from below, above, or straight ahead. You can pick background curtains that drop down behind you, and choose whether you want the photos to appear as cutouts or plain; ash, sepia, contrast, or normal, etc. It takes about 6-8 photos of you. Then comes the really hard part: decorating. You just want to cry with all the options they give you, and the worst part is that you only have 3 minutes with a clicking countdown clock to decorate each of your 8 photos. You have an electric pen and about 7 menus. Each menu contains different themes in different categories. Example, a frames themes, with different frames you can put around the photo, contains another menu with backgrounds so you can change the background design, or overlay designs, or insert shapes behind the photo. Another category is writing, with billions of different styles and colors. you can write yourself or write with their cute pre-designed alphabets, kanji, or kata. you can insert entire pre-written cute sentences and phrases. You can pick from different designs that flow out of your pen in chains on the photo, like sparkles or bubbles. You can pick many different pictures likes you see in the above photo and just insert them randomly. Plus you can change the size and color options on almost everything. Yes, thoroughly daunting. Don't get me wrong, it's super-duper fun! As good as karaoke? No way. But second best.

I've always got the feeling that no matter how many I make, I will never discover all the secrets of the Pericula.

Japanese Fashion

2007-07-25T10:44:00.001+09:00

So clearly I made my plane to Kyoto, and it was a blast! I hope I find the time to tell you all about it. There are many things I want to post on the blog before I move back to America in 1.5 weeks, but I'm swamped with packing and goodbyes and other silly business so I will just have to squeeze in what I can.

Of course I will be posting about my vacation (many of you will have gotten far too many photos of it in my Snapfish album already, btw anyone I don't know who would like to see 200 photos of Kyoto, send me your email address in a comment and I'll mail you the invite) but right now I want to post a few photos of youth fashion that I witnessed on mainland Japan. I had noticed the bizarre nature of fashion in Okinawa, but it really doesn't compare to what mainland has to offer.

First lets take a look at some boy-hair, photographed by the lovely Deejers/Robyn:

This boy hair is extra-special so it doesn't go in the same group. I saw these kids at the America Mura triangle park in Osaka:

These girls I chased down in the subway in Osaka, about one hour after arriving to mainland Japan. That's when I knew the vacation would be good. I asked them if their style had a name and they looked at me like I was crazy and scary. See the troll dolls hanging around their necks? I wonder if they are supposed to look like those things with their hair?

This girl explained to me that her fashion is a new fangled take on the traditional Japanese summer kimono. It's like hippie/rastafarian meets kimono. She worked in a store full of hand-made clothing/accessories pertaining solely to this style.

This photo is just some every-day lady's fashion, walking down the shopping district in Osaka. Most stylish females were wearing get-ups like this that looked very odd to me but seemed to be perfectly normal there:

Lastly, I finally got a good shot of a school girl. This isn't one of my students, but this is exactly what my girls look like (except mine aren't allowed to bleach their hair. This girl isn't either, but I would bet she goes to a school in the city that is too full of crazy kids to enforce discipline, there are a lot of those). Anyway, here you note the school uniform skirt rolled up around the waist so that it barely covers anything, as well as the big white baggy socks that are popular in Okinawa. I heard these were stylish like 5 years ago on mainland and came to Oki a bit later:
Unfortunately, the absolute best fashion victims that me and Cheryl saw in Osaka escaped us without photo documentation. We stumbled upon a clothing store dedicated to this fashion, and then attempted to stalk a couple going in, and we also tried to take pictures of the women working in the store/the customers in the store but they had a very strict no cameras policy and didn't let us. Probably have tourists coming in all the time and gawking at their customers, like me. Anyway, the fashion was baby dolls. Yes, grown women dressed as baby dolls. Bonnets, bows, puffy sleeved lace up dresses with puff out skirts (like tutus underneath or something), baby doll shoes, pacifiers hanging around their necks, etc. It was stunning. Their boyfriends were all wearing brightly colored striped stockings.

Kyoto, here I come?

2007-07-14T09:12:00.001+09:00

The internet claims that my flight to Kyoto today is NOT canceled, so I am going to throw a few things in a backpack and see if I can't get on a plane at 1:20. No news is good news! If I make it, I'll be gone from the blog until Monday, July 23.

Republican Rep. Bob Allan arrested on Sex Charges!

2007-07-12T23:26:00.000+09:00

uh, read this short article. you'll laugh.
article

A curse upon typhoon Man-Yi

2007-07-12T17:31:00.000+09:00

Well, typhoon Man-Yi is arriving to Okinawa just in time to cancel my Saturday afternoon flight to Kyoto, where I am supposed to be meeting my friend Cheryl (coming from China) for a final bout of tourism in Asia before I return to grad school and America. After living in "Japan" for a full year, I can honestly say that I haven't seen any of Japan. I live a billion miles away from that place, it feels like it'll be a foreign country! So me and Cheryl plan to tour the famed Kansai area (Kyoto, Nara, Osaka) for 8 days. In the second-most serendipitous travel coincidence of my life (the first being the Pope dying just after I'd bought a 40 euro ticket to Rome and me being there for his funeral), I accidentally planned me and Cheryl's trip to Kyoto during Gion. Gion is like, the first or second most famous festival in all of Japan and occurs in Kyoto. We are catching the last few culminating days of the week-long thing. A curse upon this typhoon if it makes me miss Gion!

Back to my point though: just when I thought I'd escaped a year of living on a tropical island without seeing any real typhoons, Man-Yi pops outta nowhere and is about to plop down right on our heads. This one is supposed to be serious or something. School has been cancelled for tomorrow, and all flights in and out of Okinawa. No reason to be worried, we are living in sturdy concrete buildings with metal bars in the windows, not grass huts here. I will certainly be fine (we've got candles, canned goods, flashlights and all that jazz) but my co-workers claim that there is little chance my Saturday flight will not be cancelled. All I can say is, they better put me on the next one for free! It's get to Kyoto or bust, this is definitely my last shot since I'm only in the country for another 4 weeks!

A man with 2 heads

2007-07-11T20:57:00.001+09:00

I played a game in class today (thanks for the idea, Tim!) where I read sentences aloud in English and the kids had to understand what I said and draw it. 10 sentences formed a whole picture. Below you see a most disturbing misinterpretation of the sentence,

"the man has 2 heads"

Though I have to admit, the picture IS correct.

Japanese fashion

2007-07-11T20:49:00.000+09:00

That's a man on the right there. Doesn't he have amazing hair? NOTE: this is nothing out of the ordinary in Japan. In fact these folk are probably downright mundane. Look at their footwear as well. Women here ALWAYS wear high heels. With anything and everything. Usually the high heels are plastic and sparkling.

2007-07-08T16:16:00.000+09:00

couple watching the sunset at the tropical beach next to my house

2007-07-08T15:59:00.000+09:00

It looks like I've found a source of whole grain! But wait, no, this is not a pumpernickel loaf. It's another fun bit of Okinawa that I've never mentioned before. A squid ink baguette. Indeed, a fairly popular cooking ingredient here is SQUID INK. It makes things pitch black, like this otherwise nutrient-less loaf of white bread (sorry, I am very biased against non-whole grains!) You can order things like squid-ink soup and squid ink rice at a restaurant but they have the unfortunate tendency (despite their fine flavor) to turn your teeth black. I was a bit taken aback to discover squid ink bread this weekend (not to mention that the place we foudn it was a so-called American export food store), but as it turns out, the baguette is the perfect medium by which to transport the delectable flavor of squid ink to your palette without dying your entire mouth black. Yay for innovation! 3 cheers for squid ink.

Sun Phoebia

2007-07-06T19:42:00.000+09:00

Finally! Here is the proof I've been waiting all year to get on camera of Japanese people's sun-phoebia. I remember mentioning the sun-phoebia once in an entry about Iriomote, but I'm not sure if I've ever really ranted about it. The deal is, it's cool to be white in Japan. It is everything other than cool to be darker skinned. It's a status and class issue, and it's constantly in your face. No one dares leave their home without an umbrella in the summer, I'm serious. It serves as a parasol. They avoid the beach altogether in the summer but if they're out there, they will be wearing large hats protecting their faces and will be huddling over in the concrete section's shade, watching their children play from afar. Japanese women seem to each carry around a small tube of sunscreen, which they are constantly applying to the back of their hands. If they aren't doing that, it's probably because they are wearing black arm gloves or long sleeves to shield them from a tan. At Beach Day I told Junko sensei that in America, our hands is a body part that we never apply sunscreen to, just to get a rise out of her. I wasn't disappointed, no siree! "EEEEHHHHHHHH?!!!!" She was absolutely flabbergasted. Yay cultural differences!

Now, to the left you can see a wonderful example of the Japanese sun-phoebia. This is a female jogger. THAT is her jogging outfit. She is jogging around 4pm, in the middle of summer on Okinawa. That means it's hot enough that I'm dripping sweat just sitting still. My favorite part of her outfit is the Darth Vader visor.

Odaijini Jon!

2007-07-03T16:19:00.001+09:00

Get well soon, Jon! Our buddy Jon from the teeny weeny distant island of Minami Daito got appendicitis suddenly (does that happen suddenly? I don't know, at any rate he got sudden stomach pains and found out that he had appendicitis) last week, and had to get helicoptered to my island to go to the hospital and get it removed:-( Luckily, he's ok. They even showed him his appendix in a jar afterwards. Coooool.

Leaving Party

2007-07-02T18:31:00.000+09:00

Sunset with dragon boats at the leaving party, June 23rd

It was leaving party 2 weekends ago, but I forgot to post anything about it. Leaving party happens every year around this time: a big party to say farewell to the old JETs going home. Right! That's me. Sniffles. About 40 of us Okinawa JETs rented a "party pad" up in Onna village (about 1.5 hours north). It was way good times. Unfortunately I actually missed most of the party because once I entered the karaoke room, I didn't come out again until 6am. I like to think of the karaoke room as makin' its own party though!

You can read a bit more about the party if you read the captions in the photo album below!

Leaving Party

Another Fun Japanese Video

2007-07-02T17:56:00.000+09:00

Let's keep the videos comin' so you can all get a feel for what a weird place I'm living in. This video has English subtitles, though they aren't especially important. What's going on: the members of a girly J-pop band called Morning Musume have had slabs of raw meat strapped to their heads and have their heads inserted through holes into the pen of a hunger crazed giant lizard! If you remove your head from the pen, you LOSE!!!! Keep your eye out for the one chick who is cool as a cucumber among hoards of screaming others.

Okinopoly

2007-07-01T17:30:00.001+09:00

Last night we christened Okinopoly: Hilary and Gabe's marvelous new board game that they have slaved over day and night for the last few months. This christening was especially exciting because Rachel brought oatmeal raisin cookies (not sure how she found Quaker Oats) and Hilary and Gabe made pesto and tomato salad. Oh yeah, it was oishii.

Here you can see the board. It probably won't be interesting unless you are familiar with Okinawa:

Having never played Monopoly in my life (and being proud of it, as a good anti-capitalist child should) I was relegated to Jeff's team and mostly just watched and made bad suggestions that involved cooperation or other non-Monopolistic ideals. It's a pretty cut-throat game, this Monopoly. Whatever happened to the nicer games I remember from childhood, like the Women's Suffrage card game, UNO, and North to Alaska? The world's going downhill, I tell you. But you probably didn't need Okinopoly to tell you that.

Rainbows of the Rainy Season

2007-06-27T16:15:00.000+09:00

Beach Day!

2007-06-26T21:54:00.001+09:00

Once a year in June, Ginowan High has Beach Day. This is a day when all 650+ of our students (plus insufficient adult supervision) head out to nearby beaches from 9-3pm. I chose to go with the first year students, as they are the least likely to hit on my/ask me inappropriate questions about life and love. So I show up at Mihama beach at 9am with a latte in my hand and my shades, ready for action. Yes action. Don't think that beach day is a day for lolling about doing nothing in the sun! Is that what you think beaches are for? The regimen was tightly planned! There would be an introduction ceremony, where children were forced to sit in rows in the burning sun and give speeches. Next, there was to be a dodge ball tournament. I narrowly escaped being forced to play in this by my new found 1-5 (English Camp) buddies. Instead I became a cheerleader for their team on the sidelines. After several hours of dodge ball, it was BBQ time. In Japan, the students are responsible for all prep work as well as cleaning when anything happens. So I got to lounge about with the other teachers while 200 hundred kids bustled to and fro with bags of cabbage, large chunks of meat, bottles of gas and very heavy looking grills. Yay food!

In case it has occurred to you to wonder what my students are supposed to wear to Beach Day, if they are required to wear uniforms at school that would be inappropriate beach garb, the answer is: their gym uniforms. They were all wearing their gym uniforms. The only bit of room they had in which to shuffle was in footwear. as you know, the Japanese love different kinds of shoes for different kinds of activities. Beaches fall into one of those categories where its appropriate to wear outdoor slippers. Here are some photos of 1-5 kids' slippers.

After lunch, it was volleyball time. No time to waste digesting, we've got beach activities to complete before 3 rolls around! And then BAM, the day was over and it was clean up/closing ceremony time.

You may have noticed that there was no actual "beach" time scheduled into the day. Like, swimming or playing in the sand or sunbathing. That's because Okinawans don't do those things. They like to keep their distance from the actual water, and hang out on the concrete instead. It is a bit hard for me to be happy sitting on the concrete staring at white sands and clear turquoise waters a mere 20 feet out of my reach, but hey that's how the cookie crumbles. In fact, upon inquiry I was informed that students were not ALLOWED to get in the water on Beach Day. So none of them could drown on school time. Even though the official "beach" water in Okinawa is always roped off out to where you can still easily stand and there is a lifeguard. But about ½ my kids can't swim.

Panda, F-off.

2007-06-25T21:42:00.000+09:00

One of my students was wearing this amazing shirt at Beach Day last week. I forgot to write about beach day, didn't I? Well I can fix that soon. If I can ever find him again, Jeff is willing to pay this child ungodly sums of money to take the shirt off his back. But for one I can't identify the child from behind and secondly it would probably be illegal to demand him to strip and give us his clothing in return for money.

Spare Me My Life!

2007-06-25T21:16:00.001+09:00

Even though a great number of you Japanofiles out there have undoubtedly seen this already, I feel obligated to post it for the others. Puh-lease watch this video, because it might be the funniest thing you ever see. It is a training video made for Japanese women who will be vacationing in the USA. Teaching them how to cope with the violent situations that will inevitably confront them in America. It doubles as an aerobics video.

English Camp!

2007-06-21T18:35:00.002+09:00

Last Thursday I headed up to the northern mountains of Nago with 3 fellow English teachers and 40 excited 16 year olds for 2 fun-packed days of adventure at English Camp. To the right above you see the view from my bedroom window, at the youth center where we stayed. This spectacular view might give you the impression that the Nago Youth Resort is a relaxing place to take a break in nature... which it is, in one way. However, it's important to know that one of the horrendous downsides of staying at the low-cost youth center is that you are required to rouse yourself from slumber at 6am in order to participate in group morning exercises. Oh, yes. I was twirling my arms in the early dawn along with my kids and 100 elementary school students who were much genkier than my surly, heavy-lidded lot. Apparently these exercises are traditionally done every morning, everywhere in Okinawa. The instructions are played on the radio every morning. ALTs from rural areas who teach at junior highs and elementary schools are all familiar with them. The really weird thing about these exercises was that the tape recording they put on giving us instructions was in ENGLISH. Which of course no one could understand, but I guess they all know the exercises by heart from childhood. The tape was a bubbly guy shouting out things like,

That's the spirit! Now swing your arms so hard over your head you think you're going to smack yourself in the face with em!"

Ah well. I haven't begun at the beginning. First thing, we all gathered at 9am at school to pile into a bus and drive up north. The bus driver decided it was ok for the kids to play with his microphone during the 1.5 hour drive. So Ryouji (a very funny and nice little boy, when devoid of microphone) decided to tell jokes on the loudspeaker the whole drive. I was trying to sleep, but Shintoro took it upon himself to poke me in the ribs and use his newly acquired phrase, "wake up!" every time he walked up and down the aisle. We arrived at the mountain. Then the bus stopped. "oh Joysu," Junko sensei says, "we will walk from here." What? The bus went to all the effort to drive us to Nago yet refuses to drive us the last 5 minutes up the mountain? At first I thought it had something to do with ability (the mountain was too steep for the bus) but it turned out it was just a private bus company that didn't like to send their buses where there was underbrush or foliage because of the possibility of the paint getting scratched. So 40 children get out with their overnight bags and begin a very steep hike that turned out to be about 30 minutes up the mountain to the youth center. Can you imagine what would happen if you tried to make 40 American high school students do that?

English camp was quite a bit of fun! To the left is my croquet team, Friday morning. After unpacking and lunching Thursday, 3 other ALTs arrived to help give the kids special English classes. They rotated in groups of 10 through the 4 of us. So I gave 4 hours of the same class. I had kept that knowledge in mind when planning my lesson, and therefor decided to do a fun game (for me and you, kids). I won't explain the game entirely, but it involved me shouting and jumping around, and them stampeding from the back to the front of the room repeatedly. The weaklings were trampled or left behind. I made sure to bring loads of candy for prizes, as that makes 1. everyone happy 2. everyone love ME.

After dinner we got 2 hours in the gym to go insane. This was a wise plan on the part of our camp planners. Junko said last year they only had classes and no activities, and she was up 'til 5am catching kids sneaking around in the night out of bed. New plan for year 2: wear them out before bedtime so that all they can do is collapse. I'm not sure if someone slipped the bus driver an extra 1000 for the hike up the mountain? I found the plan clever until the final stages were revealed to me: spend all day wearing the kids out, then gather them at 10-11pm for a candy/snack party where we will stuff them so full of sugar that they will be wired until next Monday. Hmmmm. I could only think that the one teacher present with no children of his own has been responsible for this part of the plan.

After a buffet breakfast of hotdogs, meatballs, salad with ketchup and mayo mixed together as dressing, miso soup, white rice, sour plums, and pickled radish and a stab at western scrambled eggs we had a special treat. My friend Michael (one of the other 3 ALTs I organized to come to the camp) dressed up in full Scottish gear and gave a presentation on the glories of SCOTLAND. His homeland. I have to say, I was probably the most excited person in the crowd. You'd think that 16 year olds might perk up for a blond haired blue eyed man in a skirt but no. I guess you have to factor in the frequency that cross-dressing seems to pop up in Japanese festivals here to account for that... maybe men in skirts isn't so exciting after all.
After Michael drilled us on how Scotland wasn't England and he wasn't an Igurisu-jin (though the Japanese language apparently doesn't have a separate word for a Scottish person other than England-Person, ouch!) We all rallied our remaining genkidom and played an energetic game of grand golf (which turned out to be a mix of golf and croquet) outside on the lawn. Actually I think I spent most of my golf-time answering these 3 questions from every single female kid at camp:

- Joysu, Maikuru wa daaringu? (Is Michael your "darling"/boyfriend?)
- Joysu, Timu wa daaringu? (Is Tim your "darling"/boyfriend?)
- Joysu, Jun wa daaringu? (Is Jun-sensei your "darling"/boyfriend?)

Yes, their minds were focused on learning.

Yay English camp!

Rainy Season Sunset

2007-06-20T18:43:00.001+09:00

Suddenly I can no longer make changes to my blog from the server at work (they block lots of things). Since I don't have internet at home, this means that I have been posting infrequently. Look forward to that continuing. Arg.

i sing of Olaf glad and big

2007-06-19T23:28:00.000+09:00

i sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
a conscientious object-or

his wellbelove'd colonel(trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but--though an host of overjoyed
noncoms(first knocking on the head
him)do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments--
Olaf(being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds, without getting annoyed
"I will not kiss your fucking flag"

straightway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but--though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation's blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion
voices and boots were much the worse,
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skilfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat--
Olaf (upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaslessly repeat
"there is some shit I will not eat"

our president, being of which
assertions duly notified
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon,where he died

Christ (of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see; and Olaf,too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me: more blond than you.
***
a poem by ee cummings

Picasa... finally

2007-06-17T19:34:00.000+09:00

Happy DAY, yo. I finally got the Picasa photo album thingy figured out and now I believe I will be able to imbed photo albums in the blog so that I won't have to waste space sticking tons of tiny pics up here. Even better, I won't have to waste the time of those of you who don't really want to look at lots of photos of me and my friends! Now you can click on links to photo albums only if you want, and if you dont't want well, they aren't taking up space on the blog.

Last Thursday and Friday were Ginowan high's English Camp up north in Nago. The next entry will be about that. However, after the camp I stayed up north for Paul's birthday party. Here's an album with some photos from Paul's bday as well as some recent karaoke pics!

Karaoke and Parties!

shopping

2007-06-11T19:28:00.000+09:00

In my last few months in Japan, I plan to start carrying my camera around to mundane places and taking photos more frequently of what seems to pass for "normal" here. Last night we went to pick Jon (our faithful Island Friend) up at Main Place. Keen to do a bit of window-shopping, we quickly ran into a rack of beautiful hats (see above).

Then the boys wanted to go into the Nike shoe store. I wasn't too excited... until I saw what Nike is marketing in Japan. Do you think the CEOs of Nike have any idea what kind of funky goes on in their overseas products? Possibly such shoes have come into style in America during my absence, but I'm doubting it.

Speaking of shoes, on top of every Okinawan's list of people to kill is the manufacturer of a certain brand of children's shoe. Which of you JETs can guess what I'm talking about?

AAAARGH! The squeaky shoes!

Some dumb ass here came up with this bad idea: wouldn't it be cute if we made shoes for tots that produced incredibly loud, high-pitched, wheezing squeaky notes every time the little one took a toddle? Mom could never lose the child, even if it escaped out of sight! A revolution in parental supervision of 2 year olds who have just found their land-legs but have yet to find any sense!

That idea is all well and good until you put it into practice. Then you've just got hoards of maniacal, drooling little people toddling around Japan in a coordinated effort to produce the symphony of tone-deaf DEATH. Am I trying to read a book? Drink my coffee? Talk to my friends? Wait for them to call my name at the doctor's office? Yes. Yes I am. And this sound is ever-present as I do: SQUEAK! A-SQUEAK! SQUEEEEEEAK-EAK-EA-EAK! It's infuriating. And this time it's not just the gaijin getting bent out of shape. Everyone in a 100-foot radius is surely directing evil-thoughts at the wool-brained parents who thought such a shoe would be CUTE. But nobody ever takes the initiative to scream, "enough!" de-shoe a strange tot, and take off running. Why? It's clear that the parents are already enduring karmic suffering 1,000 times greater than a pair of stolen squeak-shoes could cause. THEY actually have to be with their child's shoes 24/7. Heh.

a poem from mom

2007-06-08T14:57:00.000+09:00

Beannacht ("Blessing")
by John O’Donohue

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the gray window
and the ghost of loss
gets into you,
may a flock of colors,
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the curach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

Kids in China

2007-06-07T14:15:00.000+09:00

If you think that things they do at my school are weird, you should know
about what kids are doing in China. Read this entry from my friend Cheryl`s
blog. Isn`t that amazing? I admit it`s weird that in Japanese primary
schools they play brush your teeth music and everyone in the school brushes
their teeth together after lunch. But 8 year olds massaging their eye 
acupuncture points several times a day to symphony music takes it to a
whole different level. Amazing. I`ve got to get over to China and figure out
what`s going on over there.

Love Turned to Hate: a Saga of Cheetos

2007-06-06T15:47:00.000+09:00

I have a bone to pick with Japan. How is it that the most high-tech country in the world, a nation full of tiny gadgets whose use I can barely begin to dream of (not to mention their toilets!) can have such a major failing as the one I am about to disclose? The art of easy opening, peoples! BAGS.

I myself am an avid opposer of Americanization, but I`ve come to the conclusion that there is one, no make that two, things Japan could do with importing from America:

1. The easy open bag (EOB)
2. Wall insulation (but that might be a subject for a different post)

There are many more things that America would do well to import from Japan, but for now I've got to talk about bags.

Before I rant about how hard it is to get Japanese bagged products open, lets talk about the fact that Japan is obsessed with packaging all together. If you aren`t packaged, you just aren`t cool here. Take a bag of candy. In most countries, individual pieces of candy or individual cookies tend to just hang loose in their larger packaging, unless they are sticky. Not so in Japan. Inside the package, each item has to be individually wrapped or else they don`t trust it enough to eat. I bought a box of saltines the other week. I opened the box to find 2 stacked packages of crackers. Ok. Then I open a package of crackers... to find that all the crackers inside the package are packaged into groups of 4 crackers. Even jello, people! You buy jello by the MOUTHFUL here. Little one bite servings that come in a plastic pouch with a pull off lid. You buy big bags of prepackaged mouthfuls of Jello.

It`s not just prepackaged things either. At the grocery store they insist on bagging your groceries with twice as many bags as you might actually need. Did you buy a carton of eggs? It will get its own bag, and then be put inside another bag with fellow groceries. Did you buy some tofu? Not only does the fresh tofu already come in its own bag, they will put it in another bag, tie a knot in it, then put it in a third bag. Anything that is a different temperature will also get its own bag before it gets put in the bigger bag, like frozen vegetables. As if this hasn't already made it practically impossible to get to at your food, they either tie or tape shut every single grocery bag. Their plastic bags have these little plastic tails special for tying your groceries up hostage.

I`ve gotten off my main point though, which was the EOB. I think you can`t appreciate the EOB until you live somewhere where it doesn`t. I, for one, never even knew that America had such a glorious glorious tradition until I lived in Germany and then Japan. America probably pays scientists loads of our tax money to sit around all day inventing ways to make plastic and paper and metals easily openable for our lazy asses. Do you understand what I'm talking about? Imagine a bag of chips, crackers, or cookies. In America, if you want these succulent treats to be in your mouth, all you need do is place a hand on either side of the bag and gently tug... presto! It opens. It`s magic. In Japan, they clearly pay scientists to sit around and scheme up ways to keep the sides of the bag firmly stuck together when you pull. This may be the secret as to why Japan has fewer obesity problems than America: people simply can`t access junk food.

There is a little known fact that I will share with you: Japanese Cheetos are the best thing in the entire world. You have not tasted GOODNESS until you`ve had a Japanese Cheeto. The package looks the same! The same company produces them! But Japanese Cheetos are indescribably better than everyone elses. For the first 6 months that I lived here I was obsessed with J-Cheetos. I ate a bag of them every single day. The one thing that ruined the experience for me was the pain and suffering I had to go through to access my glorious goodies. Even worse, chips in Japan come in only one of 2 sizes: teeny-tiny and small. So if you want more than 2 handfuls of chips, you must brave multiple non-EOBs. Who would think that such a small bag could spawn such frustration and fury? In order to help you understand, I will explain the process I am forced to endure to open a bag of Cheetos:

I first make sure that I am sitting down with my elbows well braced on either my knees or the table. I roll up my sleeves, get a good grip on both sides of the bag, take a deep breath. Then with all my willpower concentrated on the bag, I flex my arm muscles, let out my breath in a strangled half-screech and wrench at the bag with all my strength. It doesn't budge, but I don't stop pulling! Sweat breaks on my brow, my screech turns to a groan of effort. The bag is sapping me of all my Life Force! Then, the packaging begins to give way ever so slightly. I redouble my efforts! This time, it is not the thought of my scrumptious Cheetos that keeps me going. No, instead I am filled with fury that anyone would make a bag so difficult to open. It is wrath that powers my straining muscles; unadulterated rage at the ridiculous nature of these Cheetos' packaging (and at my inability as an illiterate foreigner to write a scathing letter of complaint to the Cheeto bag manufacturers). Yes, that is what finally makes the plastic lining give way. Hate, not love:-( It's a sad story, especially for someone who went to Friends School.

But life goes on. After a few months, I game up all attempts to show up the Japanese packaging industry through personal domination of the Cheeto bag, and began to simply hack my Cheetos open with scissors or slash at them with kitchen knives. Somehow it wasn't the same. I gradually lost my infatuation with J-Cheetos, and today I barely touch them. Their beauty is tainted by their evil packaging.

my orchid and my life

2007-05-30T19:39:00.001+09:00

This is my orchid plant. Isn't she purdy? It is the only flower I have ever been able to keep alive. She was a gift on my half-birthday (April 29) which means she just made it to the one month finish line! You can see here in the photo that I am giving her a pat on the back. I give me one too.

News from the real world (for people who know me): my year in Okinawa has flown by and is now winding down. I fly home on August 5th, and begin my Masters program at UNC August 21. I'll be taking all sorts of fascinating classes with cryptic names like, "Information Tools". After shuffling back and forth on the subject for a few months, I've decided not to work my first semester. Don't wanna stress myself out more than grad school will already do. So I'll probably be living at my dad's house (yeah, y'all know where to find me!) first semester to save $$. Oh right, and cuz pops is cool n all that;-)

The only other big piece of news in my life I can think of to share with you is actually quite horrific... I am attempting to quit drinking COFFEE. Beautiful, delectable coffee. Oh I know, it's painful to even see written. So far I can't tell whether I'm actually attempting to quit drinking coffee altogether, or just cutting back severely. Those of you who know me well realize that coffee is one of my great life joys. Morning coffee especially is my favorite part of the day, it might even be the reason I get out of bed. Anyway, in the last few weeks I realized that I am a sad little addict who can barely function without 2 cups of the stuff before leaving the house, not to mention many more cups through out the day. I wasn't always this way! I fondly remember a time when I was a 1-cup girl. But you know what they say about addictive things like drugs, chips, and sex: einmal gepoppt, niemals gestoppt! Plagued by headaches when coffee wasn't to be had, filled with fatigue if a few hours passed without recharging the caffeine... I knew that the TIME HAD COME. Wish me luck. I've been doing 1-cup a day for like 5 days now, and I even tried drinking tea yesterday morning (which was weird and unsatisfying.) GANBAROU!

The Sack Slap!

2007-05-30T19:21:00.000+09:00

One of the great mysteries of the Western World is and always will be Japanese game shows. Let's face it, though you may think they're weird, these shows rack up mad points with creativity. If you don't already know what I'm talking about then you need to do some google searches to find out what you're missing. This week I have encountered a game show so outrageous that it was share or bust. Please view this video clip to see what happens to losers in Japan, and what true humiliation in front of millions of viewers is all about.

I`m going to explain what`s going on, since it`s in Japanese. There is a row of male contestants. Each of them has to attempt to say the same tongue twister. If they succeed, they`re home free. If they fail, a metal thing flies up and punches them in the balls! As you can see, by the time the last guy's turn comes around and 3 before him have taken the punch, he is so terrified that he is running back and forth trying to talk his way out of participating in the show... to no avail. Everyone in the audience just laughs hysterically while these fellows writhe on the floor in pain. Is there something wrong with this idea?

New T-shirt

2007-05-28T19:17:00.001+09:00

We found this T-shirt at T-shatsu-ya on Kokusaidori and promptly bought it. What a heart-wrenching Engrish message from Okinawa to the American military and Japan:-( Let us have our peace sky back again. It used to be peace sky. Now our sky is dangerous. See the poor little birdy flying amongst the fighter jets? Grrrr. Makes me want to smash all sorts of things. The dominant paradigm. Capitalism. Militarism. Colonialism. All those pooh-heads.

Filth Wear

2007-05-26T20:09:00.001+09:00

Oh god! How could I have forgotten to put this picture on the blog?! My heartfelt apologies. While waiting for a fisherman's boat to take us out to see the famed blue coral in Ishigaki, we were approached by 2 small children. They were incredibly cute. After giggling at us for a minute or two, one of them commanded with glee, "EIGO SHITE!" ("Do English!"). Apparently a foreigner is more of a treat down there then on Okinawa. Happy to oblige, we approached and gave them a feeble, "hello how are you?", or something... I can't remember because it was at this point that we get close enough to read the kids hat. It's the weirdest hat that anyone ever made for a 5-year-old Okinawan boy's head:

In case you can't read it, it says:

FILTH WEAR:
FETISH FASHION LATEX CLOTHING RUBBER BONDAGE ACCESSORIES

Püh, and American parents worry about what their kids are wearing.

What is Normal?

2007-05-24T11:47:00.000+09:00

It`s easy to lose track of what was once `normal` for me, while living here in Okinawa. The other day I took a walk in downtown Naha with Deej and Jon, and we decided to take pics for our friends at home by trying and look around us with virgin eyes: what aspects of everyday street life in Okinawa might seem bizarre to you readers? This was a lot more fun than we thought it would be, because as soon as we got our just-stepped-off-the-boat goggles adjusted, we realized that just about everything was downright weird. Example: there are large plastic statues of all sorts of things just standing around on the street in Okinawa. Look at the photo above. These demonic looking eisa drummers with mini-me s on their arms have nothing to do with a product being sold in a store behind them. They're just chillin`.

If you saw 3 ginormous babies dressed as cucumbers welcoming you into a store, what might you assume they sold there? That`s right! LIQUOR! What other logical thing might be standing in a liquor display than cucumbers with giant baby heads?

Or take just an average store front. Though almost every home in Okinawa is guarded by a pair of shisa, a business might well be guarded by 2 lion-sized Hello Kitty shisa. Rar!
Or you could be boggled by the high-tech assortments of vending machines sprawled across the pavement on every corner. What happened to the good old days? This vending machine has flashing lights and buttons all over, it`s got a build-in television screen playing commercials for thirst quenching drinks that you simply must have NOW! Oh, did you want to buy a cute laughing shisa statue with one arm that waves? Or how about a PENIS ASHTRAY?! Not only are such finely sculpted wooden penis ashtrays to be found incongruously placed on shelves in the shopping district of Naha, me and Sandi found them offending our gazes at the gift shop attached to the HIMEYURI monument... that`s right, the monument to 100s of Okinawan high school girls who were forced to work as nurses during the battle of Okinawa and were all killed or forced by Imperial Japan to commit group suicide. How appropriate.

Perhaps as you walk down Kokusai Street and see all the funny things there are to see, you will also have the pleasure of seeing some up and coming Japanese musicians. They won`t fail to amuse you with their cool outfits.

Mori no kawa

2007-05-23T13:03:00.000+09:00

Last weekend I went in search of some lovely gardens I had heard tell of. These gardens were sadly not to be found. But! The mori no kawa spring did make a surprise appearance. It turns out to be my neighbor, in fact.

There you see it to your left, the "forest spring". I don't know any history about this place (as usual, since I can't read the signs) but it was a beautiful and serene spot, not so far off the highway. Best of all, if you walked out behind the spring you found a field, and at the edge of the field was...

...THE SECRET GARDEN!
That was the first thought that entered my mind when I saw it, anyhow. To the left here you can see an entrance across the crumbling wall into the secret garden, isn't it mystical? Don't I sound like my mother?

The mystery ended, however, once I realized how many mosquitoes were feasting on my tender flesh. Below is a lone papaya tree that I passed while making my get-away, standing tall amongst the plethora of pink flowers lining the garden wall.

Rain

2007-05-22T15:59:00.000+09:00

-Raymond Carver


Woke up this morning with
a terrific urge to lie in bed all day
and read. Fought against it for a minute.

Then looked out the window at the rain.
And gave over. Put myself entirely
in the keep of this rainy morning.

Would I live my life over again?
Make the same unforgivable mistakes?
Yes, given half a chance. Yes.

Underwater Video

2007-05-22T15:44:00.000+09:00

My dad complained that I was too lo-tech and didn't have any video on my blog. Ok pops, BAM take that! Here are three recent underwater videos. The first is taken at manta point, which I talked about in my last fish entry.

This video is taken at the Juka Bijin (the coral formation that looks like a tree in Ishigaki). Isn't it peaceful?

Last but not least, a little Nemo, blowing in his anemone.

Orion Beer

2007-05-22T11:57:00.000+09:00

Is this a parking spot for Orion beer (Okinawa's local brew)?

Fishies of the Yaeyamas

2007-05-21T09:35:00.000+09:00

The snorkeling in Okinawa is amazing, as I have mentioned before. Above you see a snapshot of snorkeling in Kabira Bay, Ishigaki. This area is around a famous site called Juka Bijin. Juka Bijin is actually a painting theme of a beautiful woman under a tree found throughout Asia. In the case of Ishigaki, it is a particular underwater coral formation that looks like a tree. It has small, red, fruit-like clumps grow on it. The legend, according to my snorkeling guide, says that beautiful Ishigakan women swim out to the tree and pick the red fruit, because it looks like a heart. This guarantees them love.

See the Nemo hiding in the coral in the first photo below? The second photo is Staghorn coral, I believe.

These next 2 pictures are from Jeff's dive with manta rays. We went out on a boat to a place called Manta Point. For a few months every year, manta rays congregate at this place in order to get cleaned by little critters that live in the water there. I guess they nibble the bad bacteria off the mantas or something. They saw half a dozen mantas, check out the first picture to get an idea. I just snorkeled around up top cuz I can't dive, so I didn't see any mantas. But I saw some fishies!

Nemo, Nemo, everywhere. Isn't it funny how Hollywood helps intercultural communication? Nemo is a wonderful example. Since the film "Finding Nemo" came out, everyone in the entire world refers to Clown Fish as "Nemo". We went out at Shiraho to see the famous blue coral on this fisherman's boat. He took us to 3 different snorkeling spots. Before we got in the water at one of them he told us, "there are lots of Nemos over there, look for them!" Now, if he had said the name of the fish in Japanese we never would have known what he was talking about and probably would have smiled politely and ignored him. But instead we put hand gestures and "Nemo" together and went to find the little buggers.

The waters of the Yaeyamas are filled with this tiny bright blue fish. They are everywhere, and so pretty. We saw clouds of the blue babies with a mom or dad guarding them. If you held your hands out like in the photo below, they would come swim around them and occasionally come in for a nibble, hoping that you were food.

Game Night!

2007-05-20T19:34:00.000+09:00

My friend Jon lives on a small Okinawan island with only 500 people, called Tonaki. As you can imagine, there isn't much to do on such a small rock. But that doesn't get Jon down! He's full of great ideas for ways to spend time with his neighbors. Every Friday Jon hosts a group of fellow Tonakans at his place for Game Night. I've been hearing about how fantastic Game Night is for many months now. Finally, Jon decided to bring Tonaki's most recently acquired board game over on the ferry, to show a few of us what the spirit of Tonaki Game Night is all about.

Oh boy is game night fun! I haven't played board games since I was a wee lass. I think of games as something for kids but boy am I wrong. After about 5 minutes of Jon's explanation of the rules of Settlers of Catan, my eyes glazed over. I didn't remember games being so complicated. In one ear and out the other. The only thing I remember thinking was, "...and you play this with a group of non-English speakers every week?" Amazing.

As the first roll of the die came around, I knew I was in for trouble. The only instructions that my wildly flailing memory could recall were:
"there is no maritime trading during the Special Building phase!!!!"
It seemed so important... but I had no idea what it meant.

No worries no worries. 4 hours and 5 beers later we all knew what it meant. Let's do Game Night again! Next time it's Okinawopoly, a board game in the making by Hilary and Gabe. I'll keep you posted!

Urauchi River

2007-05-18T21:00:00.000+09:00

Much of our outdoor fun on Iriomote island was centered around the Urauchi River. Lined with dense mangroves, this river is the longest river in Okinawa. According to Wikitravel, it is often likened to a little Amazon. Boat cruises, canoeing, and kayaking are all very popular on the Urauchi. If you take a boat upriver, it will let you off at a trail head at Gunkan-iwa Rock. From there, a pleasant 50 minute hike through the jungle will take you to the Kanbire Waterfalls, which translates as "the place where the gods dwell" in the local language. You will also hike pass lookout points with excellent views of the Mariyudu Waterfalls (left). I hate it when people sound like a tourbook on their blog, so I'll stop now.

Kanbire falls is really beautiful. Above the falls is a large pool with a limestone bed full of naturally occurring holes. They look just like hot tubs. Japanese people are terrified of exposing themselves to the elements, so the 3 foreigners there were the only people who got in the water. Come on naicha, why hike 50 minutes to beautiful waterfalls just to stand in the sun and sweat? Most of the Japanese were wearing big hats and lathering sunscreen all over their hands like there was no tomorrow (they do that because it's hip to have face and hand skin that's as white as possible). Some of the women were wearing completely bizarre and hiking-inappropriate garb. Stylish all black get-ups with long-sleeved netted tops and black gloves, for instance. Ugh. How happy I am to be me!

We enjoyed the Urauchi so much that we went kayaking the next morning. This was my first time kayaking, and it was great fun!

While kayaking we stumbled upon an old bridge all grown over with jungle. It gave me the creeps so we turned around and paddled our little booties off. Later we found out that the bridge lead to an old coal mine that had once existed on the island. Hundreds of people were kept against their will on Iriomote and worked to death in the coal mines. If they ran away they would die in the jungle. Yeah, now you see why the bridge gave me the creepies.

Joyce and Dad fairies

2007-05-18T20:04:00.000+09:00

Trees of Iriomote

2007-05-16T16:45:00.000+09:00

I heart trees. "Big Buttress Tree" is Okinawa's official name for the type of tree in the first photo here. The trees in the second photo are mangroves (go read about mangroves on wikipedia if you're shaky on them, mangrove trees are yet again awesome evidence that evolution is HOT). Iriomote is a magnificent island for trees with rockin' ROOTS, isn't it?

More proof that no one beats the Yaeyamas for roots:

This second to last picture is clearly an Ent who emigrated from Middle Earth to avoid certain death... and well he did. He's probably the last. The final picture is intertwining roots from trees on either side of a pathway, meeting to form an arch. I have no idea how they did it. Props to you, little rooties. Survival is ON in the Yaeyamas.

Flowers of Ishigaki

2007-05-14T19:34:00.000+09:00

Shinki the Majestic

2007-05-12T19:43:00.000+09:00

Iriomote is an island almost as big as Okinawa mainland, but with a population of only 2,000 (there's like a million people on my island). Most of the island is covered in dense jungle. You may think, therefore, that there would be little with which to amuse oneself. Oh contraire! For example: two hours after arriving on the island I found myself face to face with Shinki the Majestic (above). Isn't he glorious? You can travel from Iriomote to very close, smaller islands by water buffalo drawn cart, of all things.

This is what it looks like. The trip can only be made during low-tide, when the sands are exposed. Otherwise, I suppose one could simply swim, as it isn't very far (but there isn't actually anything on Yubu island so I don't know why you would). The only reason you would go is to ride in the buffalo cart, or...
...to watch the water buffalo wallowing in their pools. Here is Shinki on his lunch break.

Pleasant as it was to travel by water buffalo drawn cart, I couldn't help but yearn for Shinki's freedom. What an unhappy life it must be to pull overdressed, uppity naicha (Japanese mainlander) tourists around day in and day out. Plus, he had to wear a rope through his nose which looked like it itched. On the ride back the driver gave a little Japanese child a stick with which to prod our majestic steed. The little snot promptly began wacking Shinki incessantly and laughing as if the whole ordeal were great fun. Every once in a while his stupid grandma would lean over with a greedy lick of the lips, take the stick from his hands and show him how to put a bit of elbow grease into animal abuse.

Throw off your yoke, Shinki! I longed to cry, as I watched Snottball wipe his dirty hands off without a second thought on his old grandma's nice slacks and take up his wacking stick again. Give this sadistic brat a good goring in balls! Escape your life of servitude! For a fleeting moment I considered slitting his nose rope with my pocket knife so he could make a run for the Urauchi river (after creating a distraction by goring Snottball). Alas, courage was not with me that day. Next time Shinki, next time!

PARAWORLD

2007-05-11T09:44:00.000+09:00

While driving along a sunny country road in the north of Ishigaki one day, we stumbled upon a small sign pointing right for "PARAWORLD". What could it be? I put my money on some sort of exotic vegetable and fruit production facility. Jeff had his on a tropical retirement home for paraplegics. We had to find out!

At the end of the dirt road we found a few friendly folk lounging in their yard. Their occupation seemed to consist of lounging, until hapless tourists (like ourselves) got curious enough about the sign to Paraworld to drive down their road, at which point they could grab up their paragliding equipment in the blink of an eye, stick a helmet on your head, attach a few cords to you, accompany you down a short path to the beach and boom! Have you soaring through the clouds and over the ocean before you knew it. Which is precisely what we found ourselves doing.

For those of you who don't know what paragliding is (mom) just look at the pictures above to get a basic idea. The instructor has hand controls with which they can direct the movement of the whole contraption, and there's a motor on the back. So it isn't like you're just floating tamely in a parachute.

It started out pretty much that way though, I suppose they want to get you used to the idea before freaking you out. My guy took me up up up very high over the ocean (giving me a marvelous view o the reef, as you see to the left) and we just sat there for a while. Right as I began to get antsy, the fun began. "You like spiral?" He asked. "Yeah! Spiral!" I answer. He cranked on the motor and began a terrifying rapid spiral descent towards the sea. "Weeeeeeeeeeeee!" I think I was screaming. Then we began swooping back and forth across the beach. Big arches that reminding me of the Pirate Ship at the amusement park: you know, you kind of feel this weightless moment at the top of an arch where your stomach goes into your throat and you start looking for your bucket to vomit in.

Since I kept laughing hysterically, he decided I was having big fun (which I was). "I'll show you how to fly!" He exclaims. Then he directs me to take my arms out from behind the safety straps (yea, the woman instructing me before take-off had made very clear that I should be gripping these from behind while flying) which left my entire torso free of any restraints. Then he told me to lean as far forward as the safety cords holding me would let me go, then spread my arms.

Oh, he was right. I sure was flying. From that angle I could see no part of the paragliding contraction holding me or flying above me, all I could see were my arms stretched out to either side and the ocean, reef, and beach roaring past below. Ah, what fun! I felt like Bastian Balthazar Bux when he in finally united with Falkor for the ride of a life time.

A Triumphant Return!

2007-05-09T13:26:00.000+09:00

Ha-ha! You thought I was never coming back!

Well, here I am, sana y salva. Above you see my triumphant pose in honor of the Triumphant Return. The reason I feel triumphant is because I am wearing the Superhero wetsuit. Every time I get inside this thing and pull down my mask, I feel like an indestructible super-joyce. You may even catch me whizzing furiously back and forth under water in this same pose with my snorkel and fins, chasing schools of small fish and singing the Starwars theme song out loud to myself (as you can tell, I have indeed been caught doing this.) Here are some underwater photos to demonstrate. Me, unaware. Me, upon being caught. Fish!

The snorkeling in Ishigaki is amazing! If you think these fish are cool, just wait til I get myself together and post more pictures of fishies. The main cause of the delay is that my computer has run out of space and I can't even fit half the trip photos on it. I keep meaning to go buy an external hard drive but haven't done it yet.

Shikinaen Royal Garden

2007-04-26T09:30:00.000+09:00

Last weekend I went to the Shikinaen Royal Gardens in Naha. This was the second largest residence for the Ryukyu royal families and was also used to entertain foreign dignitaries. It was constructed around the end of the 18th century. These gardens are a World Heritage Site and a designated national place of scenic beauty.

But like everything in Okinawa, they were completely destroyed in the battle at the end of WWII. What you see in these photos was rebuilt in 1975.

The plants in the gardens were once carefully arranged to coincide with the seasons of Okinawa; in Spring, the plum groves were in blossom. In summer, Japanese wisteria (Fuji flowers) bloomed on the islands, and in Autumn dark purple Chinese bellflowers lined the way around the lake. It's still very beautiful. But just like everything else on the island, you can't help wondering what it was like before the war came.

Snorkeling at Mizugama

2007-04-22T14:24:00.000+09:00

Recently I went snorkeling at a new spot: Mizugama (`Water Town`). Here are a couple pictures. The second one was really murky and when I tried to clean it up, all these crazy colors came out! Three cheers for the rainbows of water and the sea! It was fun to swim around in the middle of a school of fishies.

Now, to change the subject entirely (just because I don't have anywhere better to put this information) it recently occurred to me that I think I forgot to tell you about Constipation sensei`s parting remarks at the teacher`s Farewell Party in march.

The school year ends in March here. In Japan, both students AND teachers rotate in and out of the system. Teachers don't land a job and stay there throughout their careers. Instead, they rotate schools on a 3-7 year cycle (when you re a younger teacher you have to rotate every 3 years, later you get to stay up to 7 years in one place). So my good friend the English teacher who made me shout `constipation!` in front of class was sadly rotated out to a different school. At the farewell party each of these 20-odd teachers had to give a speech. Now, we`re all sitting in a fancy hotel with suits and ties on. Keep that in mind. Sensei gets up and begins his speech. The beginning is boring and formal. Suddenly he says (roughly translated into English),

for my last two years at Ginowan High, I was sick. Two years ago, they made me be Discipline Teacher. This caused an extreme amount of stress for me as I was never allowed to smile and had to pretend to be mean and shout at children all day long. During this time, I developed diarrhea. Yes, diarrhea. And this last year, it didn't go away because I am still stressed. The kids are so bad. So, I have had diarrhea for my last 2 years at Ginowan High. But now I am leaving!!!!
Thank you.

Oh, that guy cracks me up. I clapped extra loud for him.

I (heart) Accessory

2007-04-22T13:59:00.000+09:00

You know how I loves me some bling guys. Accessories are Japanese people's first and foremost love. Phone accessories, body accessories, school accessories, life accessories. I thought I would show my cultural sensitivity by posing for this photograph.

More Engrish

2007-04-22T13:32:00.000+09:00

After 9 months of reading my blog you should all be familiar with the Okinawan Shisa, guardian of hearth and home. There is a shisa on the steps of the Mihama American Village (uh, yeah there's a place here called the "American Village". It has a mall, a ferris-wheel, a cineplex, 2 Starbucks right across from each other, a horrendous array of shops selling wares that Okinawans consider to be American, and various restaurants promising -- yet never quite delivering -- "the comforts of home".) There is some graffiti on one of the shisa's paws. What a poignant mix of Okinawan and American culture this graffiti presents.

This is what it says:
I can't decide whether to think this Engrish is adorable and cute or just odd. It's sure funny, whatever else it might be. Was the perpetrator trying to send a message to the Americans that swarm Mihama by writing this in English... make a cultural connect? Did someone slave long hours over this translation, writing draft after draft until it was finally perfect? OR, is this just one good example of how Okinawans relate to the American presence and culture on their island?

I'm inclined to go with the second option. People here have a bizarre relationship with English that comes across in slang, signs, menus, and especially the wonderful, wonderful world of T-shirts. Instead of trying to explain, let me just show you a few photos of T-shirts that I snapped walking through the mall at the American Village yesterday. The last one is actually very poetic, as you will see. Basically everyone walking the streets here is wearing a shirt of equal or even more fantastic Engrish.

what would life be without tshirts?

Sandi is Engaged!

2007-04-22T12:29:00.000+09:00

It's official peeps! My sister Sandi (the mighty conqueror of natto from the last entry) is engaged to this fellow named Sol. His family's good ol' Friends School folk so you can give him your seal of approval now before you meet him. Even better, we grew up with Sol and his little sister Leah (who was my best friend forever when we were kids) and our parents have known each other since the primordial ooze, so we don't have to worry about any of that meeting the folks crap that most people do. What a relief. I hate strangers and uncomfortable bull-shittery.

Here they are! I hope they don't think I'm babysitting for free for the rest of my life just because Leah offered to. Seriously Leah, what kind of badly thought out offer was THAT? I leave you to your fate.

Nattomaki

2007-04-19T10:21:00.000+09:00

One of the most disgusting foods on the face of the planet is found in Japan. It`s called natto. Though there may be a few people on Earth who disagree with me there, this is not a democracy, it`s my blog. So. My sister Sandi made the leap from Sister to Super-Hero during her visit here. This happened one fateful night at a Ginowan High English department drinking party when my evil-coworkers forced Sandi to eat nattomaki.

Natto is fermented soy beans. But I shall have to describe it in more detail for you to be truly disgusted. First of all, its stench is putrid. Natto smells absolutely horrendous, and everyone agrees on that, whether they like the taste or not. Japanese people are under the (incorrect) assumption that the reason foreigners can`t eat natto is because its fetid stench keeps them from getting close enough to taste it. You will seriously want to vomit the instant you catch a whiff of the rotting stink of fermenting soy beans that is natto.

Second, its appearance. Since these beans are fermented, they are covered in a thick slimy goo. It is remarkably similar to snot, except that since it`s fermenting, the natto-snot is filled with tiny bubbles. To make it even worse, Japanese people like to stir their natto vigorously before consuming it. I say stir because I cant think of a better word to describe what they do, but that's not quite right. They whip the natto around with their chopsticks for a few seconds, then they scoop up a glob and pull it high out over the bowl, creating a long string of thick fermented snot goop connecting chopsticks and bowl. Then they plunge the chopsticks back into the depths of the rotting, bubbling mess and whip it again. Repeat snot string, repeat stir, repeat snot string. Then on one upswing of the snot string, CHOMP! They stick the goop in their mouth. The horror of the whole scene is too much for me to even watch. But Japanese people are convinced that natto makes them smart in the head. So they feed it to their children by the gallon.

One jolly middle-aged English teacher forced me to eat natto the first night I arrived in Okinawa. I had managed to forget this scarring experience until Sandi`s visit. At that point, it suddenly occurred to me that I have always felt very hostile towards Jolly Lady... for no apparent reason. There it was! The natto. I had forced myself to forget on the surface (not very difficult, given my powers of memory), but my heart never forgave. NO, it never forgave. I usually feel like punching her every time she says anything.

Well. Me and Sandi find ourselves at the English drinking party one fine evening. The teachers are doing their usual thing and ignoring us, until Jolly Lady hits upon the idea of feeding my sister nattomakki without letting on what it is first. Apparently this is a favorite ritual of hers with foreigners. I suddenly remembered when she did it to me. I couldn't manage more than one taste at that time (not that I would even do that now). She laughed and with an elaborate flourish of the hand passed the natto bowl off to her oldest child. The child grins and begins shoveling the snotty mess down her gullet. Jolly Lady smiles vindictively, taps her head and says very loudly, natto good for the brain Joyce! Japanese children will be smart because eat natto. What I think she was really trying to say was, you have failed the first and most important test of Japanese culture, and by the way you will never be smart. Anyway. I didn't realize what they were trying to do to Sandi until it was already too late. They ordered a plate of nattomaki: little rolls of sushi with natto as the filling. This is even worse for an ignorant westerner, because the smell and sight of natto are masked within rice and seaweed and cannot warn a Poor Soul of IMMINENT DOOM.

Sandi! Would you like to try Japanese food? Good for brain? Jolly Lady asks with a barely repressed smirk. Suddenly 5 necks swivel towards us. 5 searing gazes are focused on my sister. The entire English department -- all of the people who have the power to make my life pleasant versus a living hell -- are waiting with bated breath to see whether this second representative of the Chapman family clan can represent and pass the Natto Test.

No, no no! I feel my chest go tight! My breath quickens! Panic and terror possess me. Sandi agrees enthusiastically because she is polite. A maniacal titter escapes me. How can I stop this? What can I do? SHE`LL DIE, SHE`LL VOMIT ON THEM, SHE`LL SPEW IT OUT IN TATTERED SEAWEED CHUNKS AND KILL THEM ALL!

But the die was cast. They could hear anything I said to warn her, and the politeness factor in Japanese society pretty much forces that this situation continue as planned. There was NO ESCAPE ROUTE but that which would spell my own doom... which I did consider, just so you don`t think too badly of me. I quickly figured that my doom-spelling options included:

1. Hysterically shrieking: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! as I wrench the nattomaki plate from Jolly`s offending hand and violently hurl it across the room, then position myself as a human shield between my sister in the onslaught of English Department cultural harassment. You shall not kill my sister with your heinous natto! I would cry. Prepare to meet your Maker, POO-HEADS!!!!!!! Would this involve hand-to-hand combat? I wasn't sure. But I thought it might. And I knew I could take all those middle-aged fluffs.

2. The surprise factor. With a wild battle cry of BANZAAAAAAAAAAAI, MOTHA FUCKAAAAAAAS! I would overturn the heavy wooden table onto the other members of my department and, in the ensuing confusion, leap over their flailing, broken limbs with my sister in my arms, race for the door and escape into the night, never again to show my face at Ginowan High.

I think she had already put the maki in her mouth by the time I had discarded both of these options as extremist and not in concordance with the JET Programme`s set of rules for cultural exchange and mutual understanding.

What happened? Well, once she got it in her mouth I could do nothing but stare on with a sick fascination and fear. Everyone else was staring at her too, but ratherly eagerly. You are EVIL, I thought towards them all, shooting my best dark stare. Sandi chewed. She chewed for like, 6 seconds. I began to think, oh wow, maybe nothing is going to happen. maybe she is dealing with this much better than i thought and I've exaggerated the whole situation. Had I reeeeaally been considering giving Jolly-San the Chapman Family one-two in the kisser?

BUT WAIT.

At the strike of second #7, a bell tolls (or something). Sandi`s entire body jerks erect, her eyes widen to their full widening width, I see her throat muscles contracting wildly, her hand clamps onto my leg under the table... the grip of a woman who is on the brink of losing it! Ah, she has chomped through the rice and seaweed mess to arrive at the natto beneath. This convulsion was the first time Sandi almost vomited. Really, she almost vomited twice and Im amazed that she didnt. She quickly sees the severity of the situation, the sticky cultural mess we have gotten ourselves into. She knows that there is no escape but to swallow this horror within and pretend like its nothing. Sandi gathers her courage and takes another chew. Oh, it`s agony. I can see the pain and suffering in her eyes, feel it in her clutching fingers. Chew. Chew. She must attempt to swallow, but how? She`s terrified that she will blow chunks all over the English Department if she does try to get the grossness any further into herself. She gives it a go and almost vomits for the second time. Once again a violent full-body jerk. Again, her throat muscles visibly contract, We`ll send bile! they cry, attempting to repulse this nefarious intruder, this substance that no one should call Food. Oh it was too much for me.

In these last moments of the ordeal I lost my grip on social convention. DRINK BEER! DRINK BEER! I started yelling, forgetting propriety in the heat of the moment. She`s going to lose it, I can tell! She`s going to vomit! The English Department is going to feel SO BAD! I had grabbed her beer mug and begun recklessly sloshing beer as I waved it in front of her contorted face, willing her to take this small comfort that was all I felt I had to offer. She staunchly refused (later explained that she was going to vomit if she did anything else but tried to swallow right then and there) and continues to fight her body`s instincts and swallow the snotty fermented goo. Finally, she does. It`s down, it`s gone! She immediately reaches for the beer and takes a long pull. My evil co-workers await her verdict. They lean forward, breathing in her discomfort through their wicked wicked nosies. But Sandi gives them nothing to gloat about! She brings her face up out of the beer mug slowly, smiles sweetly and says, `It has a bite to it!` That`s all. A bite.

Like I said, Sandi went from sister to superhero that fateful day. Because she passed the Natto Test with flying colors. This is especially laudable given that Sandi feels vomitacious towards seaweed as well, a fact which I forgot to mention earlier in the story.

SANDI`S COMMENTS ON THE MATTER
(also to be found in the `comments` section, for those of you who read that thing)

i almost got sick again just readingit.because of the rice and seaweed, what assailed my senses first was actually not the natto but the seaweed, which actually makes me incredibly nauseated. i asked them if i had to eat the whole thing atonce or if i could take a bite and one English teacher leaned forwardand said "no, all at once, all at once!!"the first bite--seconds 1-6 iimagine--were when i had bitten the roll in half--my taste buds were only touching seaweed and rice with the natto and more rice and seaweed in the pouch of my cheek. i was suffering from the beginning because ofthe seaweed, but really, i have never been so unpleasantly surprised bya sensation in my life as i was when i finally moved the natto ballfrom cheek pouch to tongue.i thought to myself, just hold it in, holdit in sandi. i remembered how i prevailed over a mix of walnuts, blueveiny goat cheese, and anchovies to please an ex-boyfriend's family onthe first visit, and i kept chewing. joyce started screaming atme "drink beer, drink beer" and i thought to myself, how can shepossibly think that adding another flavor to this truly horrendous mixand prolonging the agony by stopping to take a sip would be a goodidea? i just shook my head dumbly and kept at it. two gags, i almost didn't make it. i've really not seen joyce that angry in a long time.it was great!

More Funnies

2007-04-15T20:57:00.000+09:00

yesterday while walking around I saw several odd things. one of them was the hair salon from the last post. here are some of the others. when you walk into the mall in Chatan, this baby in a... black pig suit(???) greets you. WHAT IS THIS? what's the meaning? what's the purpose? can children put coins in it and ride it? are pig suits popular for Okinawan babies, and are they sold inside this store? Do they bring out the scary pig-baby and wheel it around the mall to J-pop music during festivals?

I once mentioned the Pokemon car on the blog. what I haven't bothered to talk about is the bizarreness of cars in general here. it is very popular to decorate your car elaborately around a certain theme. I have taken a few example photos for your viewing pleasure. Please don't miss the jauntily tilted plate in this Okinawan's windshield saying "give your heart to Jesus".

Though you can't see it as well, this car was much worse. The theme is Hello Kitty. How do you like the ginormous crystal gear shift there? All the seats are Hello Kitty in leather. The backseat is decked out with seat-matching Hello Kitty pillows and a blanket. There is a Hello Kitty trash can in front of the driver. etc.

Last but not least, here is a funny Engrish shirt that I witnessed outside Sbux. Man, I wish it were still loved by people.

Hair salon

2007-04-15T15:39:00.000+09:00

Would you think that this was a good idea for an advertisement for your hair salon if you had one? Do you want to get your hair cut there? Tomorrow I will post some more photos of oddities in Okinawa!

Happiness

2007-04-13T09:40:00.000+09:00

-by Raymond Carver

So early it`s still almost dark out.
I`m near the window with coffee,
and the usual early morning stuff
that passes for thought.
When I see the boy and his friend
walking up the road
to deliver the newspaper.
They wear caps and sweaters,
and one boy has a bag over his shoulder.
They are so happy
they aren`t saying anything, these boys.
I think if they could, they would take
each other`s arm.
It`s early in the morning,
and they are doing this thing together.
They come on, slowly.
The sky is taking on light,
though the moon still hangs pale over the water.
Such beauty that for a minute
death and ambition, even love,
doesn`t enter into this.
Happiness. It comes on
unexpectedly. And goes beyond, really,
any early morning talk about it.

2007-04-12T12:46:00.000+09:00

pots set out to dry, itoman city

i saw these pots about a week ago when me and my sister went down south to the himeyuri monument and okinawa world. hows that, sandi?

Bumper sticker

2007-04-08T17:01:00.000+09:00

Check out my rockin' new bumper sticker! I've been wanting something like this for a while but couldn't find it. I wonder if teachers are supposed to stay out of politics here. Hmmm, oh well I'm a gaijin, they can't get mad at me. I know nothing! See nothing! Hear nothing! I hope drunk marines don't key my car.

shoes

2007-04-06T19:39:00.000+09:00

It is only in Japan where visitors might need instructions to keep their shoes ON when entering a museum (this photo: the cultural history museum at Okinawa World). In case you don't know, it is customary to remove your shoes upon entering a number of different places in Japan including homes, schools, many restaurants, a gymnasium, a library, etc. There is usually a shoe shelf or cupboard on/in which you place your shoes. My house, for instance, has a small entrance way with a shoe cupboard, and then a step up into the house proper. If you will continue to walk after the removal of the shoes (say in a museum) plastic indoor flippers are probably going to be provided for you. These can be called "indoor" shoes. Sometimes they aren't provided for you. You'll have to go barefoot and be looked at funny if you forget to bring your own indoor slippers or at least socks to change into. Like me, every time we have an assembly in the gym at school. Assemblies in the gym are funny though, because you'll see scary looking serious dudes in suits (like the discipline teacher) and then look down to see that they are wearing flower-patterned indoor slippers that are literally 3 inches shorter than their foot... they've just grabbed one of the communal pairs and are shuffling about in them. I really need to sneak a photo of this. If you don't have to continue walking after removing your shoes (in a restaurant, where you will sit down for example) no shoes are provided. you sit barefoot. However, pairs of plastic slippers will be placed at evenly spaced intervals at the step-down from the eating table areas for people who are walking to the bathroom. It would be horribly embarrassing if one were to walk out off the table area into the restaurant barefoot. I wonder if gaijin do this ever?

That was your cultural lesson for today. Perhaps next you'll get the story of Sandi and the nattomaki.

not only is japan weird, it's dirty

2007-04-05T15:31:00.000+09:00

There is a new release section in my video store. The new releases are set out by genre in columns: kiddies, then romantic comedy, drama, etc. There is but one genre that does not have to play by the rules: PORN. The new release soft-core porn is displayed in one row along the highest shelf. Now, they've had the decency to not put any porn along the top of the children's new release shelf, but it is right next to it. And they've made no attempt whatsoever to keep it away from where slightly older kids might venture. Anyone wanting to rent "Freaky Friday", for example, would have to look this lady's foam filled behind right in the face (see picture below). Even worse, the entire children's video section is directly in front of this new release shelf!
So what's the logic here? Do they figure that little people are too short to be able to see the top shelf? That's definitely not true. I tried crouching down and looking up. Do they simply not care whether kids see it or not? Or whether anyone (like me) might be offended by it? I know Americans are notoriously more prudish than other nationalities, but someone out there must agree with me that this is somewhat inappropriate. The other very creepy option is that they're game to advertise to anyone... get 'em while they're young! I wouldn't put this past Japan. This country (and I actually mean Japan when I say that, not Okinawa in particular) is brimming with perviness. Seriously.

Just take the fact that all the school girls are required to be dressed up in sailor suits with knee high socks and short pleated skirts. They've got these ubiquitous photo machines in Japan that kids go into and make little collage sticker-pictures of themselves in, then they give them to all their friends or put them on their cellphones, etc. There's a big industry where pervy guys pay little girls to take suggestive or half naked pictures of themselves in their school uniforms in the perikura machines. There's even a special word for it in Japanese (which I read and forgot). Grooooooooooss. And grown women are expected to act like 5 year olds until... well, just about forever. Is it sexy? Believe me, it gets really aggravating to live around after a while. How many 45 year old women do I want to hear giggle over their Lilo and Stitch pen-case, their Sleeping Beauty cellphone dangly, their Sponge Bob Square Pants lunchbox tupperware? Did you know that some horrific percentage of Japanese couples go to Disneyland for their honeymoons? Almost 80% of my female coworkers had done so at one memorable lunch-time discussion about weddings. I was flabbergasted, as you can imagine. Being forced to go to a theme park is one of my worst nightmares (right after drowning and having giant cockroaches crawl all over me).

Anyway. I'd complain to my video store, except I don't speak Japanese and they don't speak English. Maybe I can get my supervisor to help me.

Japan is weird

2007-04-04T16:42:00.000+09:00

Hi. I don't care what country you're viewing this blog from (and btw, I took off that hit-counter that kept track of all of you b/c it was whelming me) I have a question for you.

Can you buy Box-O-Placenta at your local pharmacy?

Yeah, it's the red boxes on the second shelf. What is going on here? Is this boxed placenta in pill form, to pop? Is it in powder form, do you stir it into your hot water and chug it for a quick energy boost? Will my future placenta production be increased 3-fold by taking this? What are the side-effects? Sometimes it really bugs me that I am illiterate in this country.

Me and Sandi found this mural on a building. You can examine it on your own time, and contemplate the complexities of the Japanese psyche.

Bobbing along

2007-04-04T14:51:00.000+09:00

Bobbing along, bobbing along on the bottom of the beauuuuutiful briiiiiiney sea!

Sandi came along on a marvelous snorkeling adventure with me this week. We bobbled along on Sunabe seawall. Above is a photo of us together, bobbling. Luckily the underwater camera was fixed, so we were able to have photo documentary of our journey.
To the left you see some things that we saw... a school of fishies over a garden of coral and a starfish hiding in a rock crevice.

As you can see, the water in Okinawa is incredibly clear. We had a bit of a crisis entering and exiting the ocean because some friendly fishermen had caught a lot of big fishies and cleaned them, then thrown the unneeded parts back into the water (this gives nutrients and whatnot back to the sea, but it also leaves dead giant fishie carcasses floating in guantlet of DEATH formation). Sandi almost didn't make it.

Yay, snorkeling! Sandi is leaving tomorrow morning, but I will have to tell some backlogged stories of our adventures here. Especially the one about my teachers forcing her to eat nattomaki.

Nakamurake House

2007-04-02T10:00:00.000+09:00

Last week, me and Sandi went to the Nakamurake House. This is the oldest house on Okinawa. Its 300 years old. Below is Sandi. Im standing on the stone wall surrounding the property, looking down.

This is a traditional Okinawan style house. It was a wealthy Okinawan farming residence.
Heres me with a well and the stables behind me.

Red tile roof with a shisa standing guard (you see lots of these 2 things in Okinawa)

the secret side of the north

2007-03-30T22:47:00.000+09:00

I mentioned that I didn't know how much of my Wheel of Death weekend was appropriate to show through photo documentary on the blog. Ive decided that the friendly marines wont mind getting a little fame! A bunch of us went out to a military bar up north a few weeks ago. Most of the mixed drinks had very, very dirty names. I shall not repeat them here, but if you are curious, write me an email. Below you see the absinthe (not illegal here) preparation process, and smiling happy people.

Then there was death by pool stick. Christina offered to perform the ritual killing (despite not even playing on the team opposite the victim). This just proves what a good friend Chrissy is. Always willing to lend a hand. No shirking from the dirty business.

Good times, good times.
There was the tossing about of Amy, who I like to call Lil Slick (as always... who can resist tossing a small person in the air?)

And finally, there were some nice marines who decided to give a good show on the stripper pole. Hey, you would be bored too if you were stuck up north without a car.

These fellows were actually quite talented. I don't think its as easy as it looks. Right, so if you want to see marines on stripper poles, drink absinthe or cocktails with filthy names, get a pool queue through the heart, give Slick a toss, or attempt the Wheel of Death, then head up north! Nature`s not all they've got to offer.

Hiji Falls

2007-03-30T09:44:00.000+09:00

Since my online photo albums still aren't working, this post will be just photos from me and Sandi`s recent trip up north. These photos are all from Hiji Falls. In the first photo below, you can see Sandi walking along the rotten wooden bridge next to the Falls.

There is a suspension bridge across a ravine on the hike to hiji falls. That sounds really exciting, but its quite a safe suspension bridge. Not like Indiana Jones or anything. Its about 4 feet wide and sturdy. However, the entrance and exit to the bridge are marked by exciting looking giant red gateways (below), which made it almost as good as Indiana Jones.

The first photo below is the view from the suspension bridge of Yonbaru forest.

Here is a baby waterfall that we found along the way to Hiji falls. And the second pictures is here by accident; its not from the Falls, its from the Bashoufu weaving place.

Theres me at the end of our great journey. I am getting sprayed by the waterfall. Yay! The end.

my sister Sandi

2007-03-28T13:39:00.000+09:00

Sorry I disappeared again. My sister Sandi is here visiting me! She rolled off the plane a sickly mess of snotty tissues and germs. But like the trooper she is, this didn't stop her. The next morning we packed our bag and drove up to the far northern reaches of my island (ok, its like a 2 hour drive, not really that far) for a few days of exploring.

The first thing we did in Kunigami was hike to Hiji Falls. This is the biggest waterfall on Okinawa island. Its about a 40 minute hike. You may run across the occasional large puddle that calls for graceful jumpage.

Below is a photo of us (we are far right, shrouded in mystery and shadow) in front of Hiji Falls. If you aren't in shape (me) the hike will really make your calves hurt the next day. Beware the many many stairs of wood (some with rotten parts falling out of the middle, loose boards, or big holes where some poor soul who had gone before clearly twisted their ankle).

We also drove to Hedo Point, the furthest northern point of Okinawa island. Its a bunch of cliffs and jagged rocks that reminded me of Inismore in Ireland. But not as cold. The monument to Reversion is also found here. Reversion is when the USA gave Okinawa back to Japan in 1972 after having occupied the island since the end of WWII. Photo below.

After a full day of adventuring, we went out to the only izakaya in the teeny weeny town in which we had booked a hotel, and ate and drank of the local foods and beverages. Below is Sandi freaking at the idea of me eating a fried fish head. The next day, we went to see bashoufu (traditional banana fiber weaving) and to the Pineapple Park in Nago. Maybe Ill put up photos of those later.

Here is a picture back down south of Sandi with the shisa that guards my school. She wasn't entirely impressed by my school. Her main complaint was that it was filthy. You know Sandi and dirt. They don't jive.

She only came to school with me one day though. I think the usual routine will be for me to drop her off at the beach on the way to school (we did this today) and pick her up again at the end. Below, me and Sandi at the beach right next to my house where she shall spend her days (its only a 10 minute walk from home!)

That's a quick update for now, hopefully Ill be putting more photos and stories of her 2-week trip up as it goes along. But my stupid neighbors finally figured out how to password protect their wireless internet, and my computer at school finally kicked the bucket, so posting options are slim.

Kanakos Besuch

2007-03-23T16:15:00.001+09:00

YAAAAAY! Kanako finally came to visit me in Okinawa. Kanako (for those of you who don't know) is my housemate from Germany, and probably the sole reason why I ended up thinking it was a good idea to go live in Japan. Yes, this is the woman that introduced me to the wonders of curry rice, Japanese cabbage pizza, and the staggering versatility of chopsticks (as a weapon, utensil, and emergency aid).

Snorkeling

2007-03-22T12:33:00.000+09:00

Wednesday was a national holiday. It was the Spring Equinox -- a marvelous national holiday if there ever was one. The equinox always rekindles fond memories of Friends Ｍｉｄｄｌｅ School for me. Our Wild Writing teacher Henry used to give us each a cookie dipped in half vanilla, half chocolate. Clutching our cookies in one paw, we would dance around this pole outside and chant `equi-equi-equi-nox! Day and night! Half and half!` at the top of our lungs, until finally we were all danced out. And then we would eat our cookies. Anyhow. There was no dancing or cookies yesterday, though there was snorkeling and curry. We decided to head over to Sunabe beach in Chatan for the day.

Based on the exciting wetsuits that me and Yvonne are wearing in the above photo, you may get the impression that we are seasoned snorkelers who own our own equipment and glide without a care through the bottomless blue like fish in the sea.

Yeah, no. As was the case last time you saw me, big water is scary. I had to be given the safety snorkel with a special device to stop water from entering the top when a wave goes overhead, I tend to drift alongside close to the reassuring presence of my companions rather than swim about on my own, and when I do `glide` around it is hardly careless; its more of a graceless and feeble paddling frenzy that propels me along in a lop-sided circle intended as a straight line. Until I run out of steam, and then i just float without moving and stare at the coral. Alas, most of you will never get to witness me in flippers.

Ah, but snorkeling is glorious. It sure is another world down there. Okinawa has the second most diverse bio－marine life in the world, after the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Once you stick your head in the water, there are dozens of types of coral covering the landscape. They are all different colors, shapes and sizes. Not to mention all the fishies. To the left here you see a picture of some soft coral (not my photo). The soft coral is my favorite, as it looks like its little feathery fingers are blowing in the breeze. According to my knowledgeable sea-faring island friends, a new species of coral has recently been discovered. Its walking coral. Yes! Coral that walks around. I imagine it with little footsies tottling back and forth, but in reality it probably looks nothing like that. Think about how many jillions of years coral has been working on evolving walking capabilities. I think we all owe coral a big round of applause.

2007-03-20T17:45:00.000+09:00

My dad sent me a music box in the mail. I made it look creepy!

Nago and the Wheel of Death!

2007-03-20T07:49:00.000+09:00

Last weekend I drove up north with some ii tomodachi. There will definitely have to be another blog post about our somewhat bizarre adventures out on the town Friday night (I'm still trying to figure out how much of it might be appropriate to put on a blog) but for now I shall post a more sedate entry about Saturday's exploration and THE WHEEL OF DEATH.

Despite the fact that I live on a tiny island, I never run out of new things to see and do here. Saturday we decided to drive out in search of the elusive Nago Castle ruins and the fabled Wheel of Death. Above and below, you see some photos of our hike in search of Nago Castle (which I think we failed to find in the end, though the jury may still be out on that one. If you haven't noticed, many of the castle ruins on this island are intangible. There are signs saying that they exist, but somehow one can never find them).

So you want me to get on to the WHEEL OF DEATH which is probably the only reason you're still reading this.........

ENTER THE WHEEL OF DEATH!

JETs up north are always talking about this fabled Wheel of Death. Descriptions were rather vague. From what I'd heard, I'd always pictured a large hamster wheel on a stark mountainside or ocean cliff in the deserted northern reaches of the island, upon which generations of drunken JETs had lost their lives trying to pass some right of passage. Running endless circles the night through after shot-gunning 10 beers, or some such nonsense. Well, it wasn't actually a hamster wheel. Nor is it on a stark mountainside. It's actually a playground attraction. Though in all honesty, this playground should have been called the Playground of Death. Seriously, I've never seen anything less appropriate for little people. Not only was the Wheel of Death deadly, there was an immense winding slide that ended mere feet from a short but steep hillside, a tire swing with a few wooden poles placed awkwardly within its swing range (ask Christina about swinging Paul's face right into one of these), and various climbing structures that looked like a parent's worst nightmare.

I suppose if we had arrived at the Wheel of Death at the stroke of midnight instead of on a drizzly Saturday afternoon, something terrifying and inspiring might have happened that would have caused the Wheel to live up to its reputation. The most that happened to us, however, was that everything fell out of Jeff's pockets and into a grassy grave below as he scaled the playground's impenetrable defenses. We decided the whole thing must be a trick thought up by local children to snatch silly gaijin's wallets as they flailed about in the web of ropes overhead. I have to admit, I began climbing through the wheel and decided to back out after about 1/5 of the way. It was a bit scary.

I imagine the wheel really would be a death trap if you were either of these 2 things:

1. under 8 years old
2. drunk and in the dark (no names my fellow JETs, no names!)

After following innumerous tantalizing signs pointing us higher and higher up the mountain to the Nago Castle ruins, we arrived at the top. Where we found nothing but a vending machine, a lot of asphalt, and a lookout tower. It's the journey not the destination that matters. Here's the view!

I Get All Excited

2007-03-19T00:44:00.000+09:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! This post's for you.

So the art section of the Guardian recently advertised Nick di Fonzo's new book, "The Worst Album Covers in the World... Ever!" The first album cover on their sampling page really struck a chord in my heart. The year: 1983. The player: my soul-sister, Joyce.

Don't leave yet, it gets even better. This album includes a track called, "I get all excited". PLEASE listen to a clip of this song here. If it doesn't get you all excited, I don't know what will.

Happy u-aito Day!

2007-03-16T07:42:00.001+09:00

It's come and gone! The famed second Valentine's (boys give to girls this time) of Japan. March 14 was White Day ( to be pronounced "u-aito day"). It has an English name, despite only existing in Japan. If anyone can tell me the origin of this odd holiday, I would be much obliged. Alternatively, if you can make up a really good story about where White Day might have come from, I will tell this tall-tale to my school. My fellow teachers asked me, of all people, where it comes from. Do I look Japanese? Why am I supposed to know that?

I received 2 packages of Duty Chocolate yesterday for the occasion, at any rate. This is chocolate that your male collueges are required to give you. The third male in the English department is this kind of crazy guy who never knows what day it is.

HAPPY U-AITO DAY, MINASAMA!

Botanical Gardens

2007-03-13T22:53:00.000+09:00

One of the things I hate about this blog site is the fact that I can't have photo albums. Whenever I want to put up more than 2 photos, the positioning gets all tricky and the blog wants to squish them into some corner I didn't want, or overlap them, or tell me that they're lined up next to each other in my preview layout and then sneakily turn them into a vertical or diagonal salad in real life. So, how delighted do you imagine I was when Picasa Blog Albums began to be advertised on blogger homepage, for free blog photo albums? Very! Of COURSE, for some stupid reason the program refuses to work for me, repeatedly reporting errors in upload when it is 99% complete. grrr, grrrr, grrrrr!

I cursed the gods and refused to have anything to do with my blog ever again. That's why I've been gone for a few days. But I'm back! I still curse the gods, but I will faithfully and painstakingly insert a mini-photo album's worth of pictures here for you now, because I am a good woman who wants others dying of boredom at work to have something to look at.

These pictures are all of my weekend trip to the botanical gardens and yara castle ruins.

برني دارالسلام: Brunei Darussalem

2007-03-09T07:46:00.000+09:00

Dear readers,

Many a boring day can be made interesting by reading my blog tracker statistics at work. I am fascinated by the plethora of nationalities that read my blog (if you are interested, I have now capped 45, and at least 37 of those have hit more than once). For instance, this morning I got to work and found that someone from a place I had never even heard of had read my blog last night. I proceeded to spend half an hour of what would otherwise have been Boring Time learning about this nation on the internet (mostly with the help of my friends Wikipedia and the CIA). After my half hour of Learning, I feel it best to dedicate this blog entry to the sultan of the little (yet mighty!) nation of Brunei Darussalem.

According to Wikipedia:

Brunei, Abode of Peace (Malay: Negara Brunei Darussalam, Jawi: برني دارالسلام ), is a country located on the island of Borneo, in Southeast Asia. Apart from its coastline with the South China Sea, it is completely surrounded by the states of Sarawak and Sabah, East Malaysia. Brunei, the remnant of a very powerful sultanate, became independent from the United Kingdom in 1984.

The Sultanate of Brunei was very powerful from the fourteenth to the sixteenth century CE. Its realm covered the whole island of Borneo and the southwestern Philippines. European influence gradually brought an end to this regional power. Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei, whose title has passed within the same dynasty since the fifteenth century, is the head of state and head of government in Brunei. He is effectively the supreme ruler. There is no elected legislative body. Due to the absolute rule of the Sultan, Brunei is one of the most politically stable countries in Asia. The country has been under hypothetical martial law since a rebellion occurred in the early 1960s and was put down by British troops from Singapore.

The total population of Brunei is 383,000. The total landmass is 5,765 square km, making it the 170th largest country. The official languages are Malay and English. The climate in Brunei is equatorial tropical, with high temperatures, high humidity, sunshine and heavy rainfall throughout the year. Crude oil and natural gas production account for nearly half of its GDP. The government provides for all medical services and subsidizes rice and housing.

Hello? How much awesomer would Japan be if the government subsidized the freakin rice? Some of you may not know this. Rice, though eaten 3 times a day by most Japanese, is more expensive in Japan than almost anywhere else in the world (and fyi, I read a book about this once and the following babble is the fuzzy remnants still bobbing in the back of my brain from that experience). This is because the Japanese govt refuses to allow Japanese people to eat any rice that isn't Japanese, so even though its nonsensical for Japan to put so much effort into agricultural production when they could buy buttloads of rice at 1/20 the price from China, they do. Japan doesn't have much flat land for agriculture at ALL. Most of their rice paddies are propped precariously on mountains in tier formation, and jillions of hours of backbreaking toil are put in by family farmers, since machinery doesn't really work well on mountains and small plots (though Japan is also the most over-mechanized country in the world when it comes to farming equipment). Per acre, Japan is comparatively quite productive, but a lot more labor and time go into each acre than other places.

Basically the govt wants to be able to remain self-sustaining in case of catastrophe like another world war, so they need to maintain rice and fish production. They convince normal Japanese people that its a good idea to keep producing rice by telling them that all other rice in the world is far inferior to Japanese rice for XXX reasons, and probably that they will keel over and die if they ever touch a single grain. In fact, bringing rice into Japan is considered a serious CRIME. Yeah, no packing your favorite Canadian wild rice next time you get on the plane over here. You could actually be arrested for that. Though you re a gaijin and probably don't know any better.

That Hassanal knows what keeping people happy is all about.

too long

2007-03-08T17:16:00.000+09:00

I know I've been here too long when things like this are no longer surprising. (YOU know I've been here too long when you look down and see that I'm wearing pink anime plastic bunny head slippers and thinking nothing of it.)
This Pokemon car was parked at school today. I don't know why, no. I don't ask how or who. I chose to simply appreciate it for what it was.

Zakimi Castle

2007-03-06T23:51:00.000+09:00

Above: view of Cape Zampa from Zakimi castle wall.

You may have noticed that I've been doing lots of boring cultural-site-seeing posts instead of anything truly FUNNY, as some of you have gently put it to me in recent emails. Well, if I gave you all my funny, I wouldn't have any left for me, ok? Got to get through the day you know. Funny is as funny does.... its all cyclic my friends. One day in the future, I may once again be funny.

Above: US fighter jet blazes across the sky over Japanese couple on castle wall, doing stupid noisy war drills. Yankees go home!

Well, with the excitement surrounding Nakijin and Henoko, I utterly forgot to mention the trip to Zakimi castle on the blog. Zakimi is only 30 minutes from my house... first time I've been there... I know I'm lame, stop thinking it!

I am so lazy that I'm going to lift captions right off my Snapfish photo album (that my Real Friends already saw) and put them in this blog entry.

you see castle. Now, according to Okinawa legend, the dude who built this place is said to have had the stones from his former castle in Yamada moved one by one to Zakimi by forming a human chain of workers. What a loooooser. He can just get on a plane home with the yankees.


About the dude. This castle was built in the 15th century by an Okinawan warlord named Gosamaru. I may name my first born child after him. Or not. It has a majestic ring to it, doesn't it?

Left: we practice our karate kid moves in the dying sunlight, just in case Gosamaru's enemies show up and we would have to rough them up.

Ready for some more good old castle info from random websites?

"The ruins of Zakimi Castle are located in the central district of Okinawa Island, in Yomitan Village, close to the western seacoast. While the vast majority of Gusuku are built on Ryukyuan limestone hills that spread out in the central part of the island, one of the differing points of the Zakimi Castle ruins is that they are built on red earth named "Kunigami Ma-ji... The walls are constructed from cut Ryukyuan limestone. The arched gates built into each of the outer and inner walls are estimated to be the oldest in the Ryukyus."

Zakimi isn't a big castle, but it is free. Even better, you can go there at any time of the day or night. In fact, gatherings and celebrations are supposedly sometimes held at Zakimi during the full moon. Though I haven't seen this with my own eyes.

Lots of people (yours truly, tatoeba) go up to Zakimi to watch the sunset. The castle is built on a hill right over Cape Zampa and the ocean. And the sunset. Try doing dangerous balancing acts on the "keep out" sign pole if you want to have a good time. Dangerous as in, if you fell it would only be 2 feet. I guess unless you stumbled over that wall to the right, and then it would be 30 or so.

卒業式 (graduation ceremony)

2007-03-05T22:33:00.000+09:00

My beloved children graduated last week without you even knowing. Ah, the little demons will now head out into the Great Beyond: a life of drudgery at cellphone shops and pachinko parlors for most of them, no doubt. The carefree days are over: Adulthood is here. This horribly sad event occurred last Thursday. Almost all of my favorite classes are 3rd year, so I too was depressed about my future. Luckily I've got 2 or 3 classes that keep me going in the second years.... first years are all just bad uns.

It was a graduation ceremony not unlike our own in America.

I say that. But who am I to talk? I sooo didn't go to my high school graduation. Ok, I have no idea if it's similar or not, but I would bet you that there was certainly a lot more bowing involved here. As the tinkle-tinkle music box song played in the background, every single kid got their name read, bowed to the teacher, got the certificate, bowed again, walked down the stairs, bowed to the administrative head and VP, bowed to the teachers, sat down. I got so bored after a while that I started counting things.

*Number of students who tried to bow and walk at the same time and fell down the stairs: 8

*Number of students who stopped at the top of the stairs and yelled something inappropriate at the top of their lungs: 12. Like, a high pitched, "GINOWAN HIGH IS AAAAAWESOME!!!!!!" giggle giggle run away.

*Number of kids who actually fell asleep in their seats during their own graduation ceremony: about 1/5. Yeah, my kids are sleep-in-their-seat MEISTERS. If there's one thing you ever learned from my blog, let it be never go up against a Japanese kid when it comes to sleeping. And those are true words of wisdom.

Above, you see a Japanese graduation tradition called the 花道 (hanamichi) Road of Flowers. After the graduation ceremony, all friends, family, and peers wait along the sides of the walkway and the 3rd years all do a spectacular slow-mo exit of the gym. Flowers are pressed upon them from all sides! Strategically placed bubble-blowing-girls work hard to create an atmosphere of mystical heroism! And most bizarrely of all, necklaces made of strung together candy bars are draped around their necks by their peers.

Then, there was the Graduation Party. This is the equivalent to the American PROM. Except that it is nothing like the prom. Though once again, I find myself talking out of my ass. I didn't go to my prom OR my graduation. I was Disgruntled Youth. Well, I was pleased to be invited to the Graduation party by the students at any rate. I was told that it would take place from 6-9pm at the ugly building next to the fire station, and Id get free snacks but that there would be no dancing, no one would talk to me, and beyond that female and male students wouldn't talk to each other. So I was unsure what to expect. It surely didn't sound like a prom. No dancing? What were they going to do? I figured they'd all just show up in their school uniforms and chow down for a few hours. Boy was I wrong. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking that people cant dress fancy just because their party is in an ugly building with folding chairs. I gave myself a mental pat on the back for having chosen to wear a skirt instead of jeans (yeah, bad ideas like that seem really good to me at times) when I walked in and found 100s of spectacularly garbed students. I didn't recognize most of them without their school uniforms, natural hair, and seating numbers. It was certainly the prom. Sorry, I didn't get any pictures of the really good ones. Some of the girls, for example, where wearing tiaras and ball gown get ups. Some interesting fashion differences that I shall note for you here between American and Okinawan kids:

* boys like to wear large, fake jewel earrings. Like a big multi-faceted amethyst stud. And I mean, BIG. Usually 2 in one ear.

* No matter what the rest of their outfit looks like, girls will have a shawl draped around their shoulders. Showing boob outline must be a big big no-no here. I mean, they had slits up to their panties in the dresses, 3 inch heels, insane extensions in their hair but a jacket or shawl was always present.

Something I found funny was that between the time that school graduation ended (about 2pm) and the party started at 6pm, nearly 20% of the boys had bleached their hair blond.

I am an adult! Hear me ROAR! This statement cries, in this culture. In reality it cried,

I have bad taste and ugly hair now! I know never to trust Shouhei again with powerful chemical substances near my scalp!

But it makes sense. School kids aren't allowed to wear earrings or dye their hair, even highlights. Thus the tawdry glass earrings and blinding hair.

Above, Junko sensei with 3 boys from her homeroom class, as well as her daughters.

So, they were right about the party being a bit lame. I sometimes forget that Japanese kids are way behind American in inter-gender relations. They really didn't talk to each other at all. They must have spent hundreds of dollars doing their hair and nails and buying their outfits but the only thing that happened was that the girls stood on one side of the room, the boys on the other, they giggled, then they toasted cola, they wished that they were courageous enough to talk to each other and did a lot of blushing, then they ate, then the big party event. The real fun. The true excitement.... yeaaaaaa you know whats coming.....

WE PLAYED BINGO!!!!!

Futenma Shrine

2007-03-05T17:59:00.000+09:00

A few days ago I went to the Futenma Shrine for the first time. Why I never made it before... a mystery, since it is relatively close to my house. Left you see the view of the shrine from the highway (its right at the intersection of the 81 and 330 in Ginowan, if you want to go).
The most interesting thing about the Futenma shrine is the caves beneath it. If you ask nicely, a priestess in training (all dressed in white with those socks specially made with a big toe space and flipflops... you know) will let you back into the caves. To the left you see the entrance to the caves, and a priest in training sweeping the rocks.
To the left here, you see the prayer plaques of Okinawans that come to the shrine, hanging outside.
Then, if you turn around and go down the stairs, you will see this: The hanging paper cutouts are prayers, left by the priests and priestesses. They are wrapped around rocks in random places. Random only to the ignorant such as I, no doubt. To the right, the cave continues back. It isnt too big, but makes for a nice little walk away from civilization, right under the highway and bustle of Ginowan. It`s nice to hear the silence of caves (I assume you all understand what I mean by that, if you've been in a cave) in the middle of the city. Below is the view of the shrine from down inside the cave, right where it opens. Like a different world isn't it? Very peaceful.

Nakijin Castle

2007-03-03T15:09:00.000+09:00

The same day that we went to Henoko, we went to Nakijin castle, which is located on the Motobu peninsula (near Nago, where Christina, Amy, and the Pineapple park all live). This was my first time to visit ANY of Okinawan's castles, if you'll believe it. I've halfheartedly been trying to hold out for my sister Sandi's visit at the end of this month, but I just couldn't make it. (Don't worry Sindi we'll go again.)

Here are some photos of the castle structures. The 1st and 3rd are of one of 2 shrines within the castle walls that have been preserved. One shrine is to water, the other to something I forgot.

"the remaining walls of Nakijin Gusuku (Castle) stand like stone ghosts amidst the surrounding wild mountains. After having survived the ravages of war, countless typhoons, and the aging process of time, this once magnificent fortress has become a symbol of Okinawa's ancient past. "

Yeah. What a random site on the internet said. I've no time for creating my own words! Nakijin is cool though. A long time ago (before the Ryukyu kingdom was unified) my island was roughly 3 different kingdoms: north, middle, south. And of course, the outer islands like Miyako and Ishigaki were something else entirely. Hokuzan, the northern kingdom, had its home base here at Nakijin, on a cliff overlooking the sea.

"Archaeologists estimate that construction on Nakijin Castle began at the end of the 13th century - over a hundred years before the beginning of the Ryukyu Dynasty."

Here are some nature shots from our rambles through Nakijin's grounds.

"One of Nakijin Gusuku's most striking features was its enormous size. The castle's total land area covered approximately 14 acres, making it the largest gusuku to have existed during its time."
So I guess they're saying that bigger is better. Or something. I don't know about that, but I sure liked the flowers.

2 questions

2007-03-03T15:00:00.000+09:00

Is this a cafe, and is it named "Village People", or is it just me?

Would you pay 40 yen more for your water if it was "freestyle water"? Yeeeeah you would!

Henoko

2007-03-01T15:30:00.000+09:00

Last weekend three hearty adventurers set off bright and early Saturday morning in search of a reported boating festival in Kin town. Upon arriving in Kin, said festival was nowhere to be found, and all organizers or people with knowledge of the festival were not answering their phones. Did we give up hope? NO! First, we decided to wander around Kin`s murky US-military-bar clad streets, in hopes that the traditional Okinawan boating festival would pop out of one of them and yell surprise! The walk did us good though, as J had yet to see a truly Americanized part of Okinawa. To the right here, you see a shocking example of how the atmosphere in Kin is quite different than where we live.

After that, we had the marvelous idea to venture out to Henoko.
If you dont know about Henoko, then I will give an brief explanation You could also read this article.

- Futenma airforce base is really big and smack in the middle of a very populated area. Below is an aerial view of my city, Ginowan, where Futenma is currently located (that big empty part in the middle):
Specific areas of my city (that's right, we're talking places with preschools, homes, playgrounds, etc) are designated "danger zones" 1, 2, etc. because bad things sometimes happen due to Futenma... like planes falling out of the sky and killing people. Also, daily flight practice with fighter JETs is very loud and shakes the windows of our schools. I once read about these findings that the constant noise of the fighter jets was giving Okinawan kids weird problems like the jitters and ADD or something. Check this out, from 2002 newspaper article:

Two hundred residents living around the Futenma Marine Corps Air Station filed suit against the Government of Japan ...on Wednesday for compensatory damages from the noise caused by military planes flying over their residences....

Their demands are as follows: to set a flight ban from the hours of 7pm to 7am, to ban airplane engine tests making noise over 55 db, to ban any noise over 65db, to abide by environmental conservation laws, to compensate for damages incurred in past years and expected future years.

One of the plaintiff group, Mrs. Tatsuno Kuba, joined the suit with her six family members. Housewife Kuba stated, "In the suit, I want to appeal against the unacceptable noise damage and the fear of a plane crash every minute a military plane skims over our roof." She also wanted the people of Nago City, the relocation site of Futenma, to pay attention to the suit.

Not to mention I have to drive a billion km around stupid Futenma to get to from point A to point B if those points are unlucky enough to be on either side of the base.

Ok, I'm getting back to the short of the story. Short and dirty. In 1995 three US soldiers kidnapped, raped and severely beat a 12 year old Okinawan school girl. Since then, there has been immense pressure on the US and Japan on both an international and national level to "do something"; some symbolic thing at least to look like they're helping the situation. Of course they don't really care, but what they did was promise to remove Futenma and give back the land. Now, it was a bit misleading. Instead of "removing" it, they're just "moving" it. Which sucks, because Okinawans have been peacefully protesting for 50 years trying to get the US killing machine away from their homes and lives and I think people finally thought they were going to get rid of Futenma. NOOOOOT!

Where have they decided to move it to? They are going to build a huge floating heliport off the Okinawan Northern coast at Henoko. Is it a bad idea? Of course it is! The biodiversity in the sea and coral reef at Henoko is amazing. Not only does the plan involve drilling deep into the coral reef (and killing it, along with messing up all the unique biodiversity there), but this particular area happens to be the home of the Okinawan dugong: an endangered marine creature. Henoko bay (where they're building the thing) is the dugong's feeding area where they live and where their special seaweed grows n shtuff:-((((Grrrrrrrrr, I don't heart you, Japan and US! Oh, right. Its also home to a lot of Okinawans who really dont want 4,000 marines and their ginormous base and constantly roaring/flying/crashing jet fighters to become a part of their rural northern community. Unfortunately, Okinawans economy sucks so the fact that a base would create lots of jobs is a major attraction for a lot of people up there... but they would have to accept the bad with the good.
PHOTO: 1,000 paper dugong @ Henoko headquarters.

Here is a picture of serene Henoko bay where they are planning to build the heliport:

When we got up to the beach at Henoko, Jeff played his Journalist Card (this gets him in everywhere) and soon we found ourselves comfortably seated in the make-shift headquarters of the Henoko protest movement, listening to Jeff interview an important senior member of the organization as a free-roaming chicken pecked at our feet and we flipped through informational photo booklets about the history of the movement (I really wish I had a copy of one of these, I would have so many more interesting things to say right now, but you know my memory...)

After the interview, they offered to take us to see the wall. The wall is this barbwire barricade between the military and Okinawan land out on Henoko beach. People come from all over Okinawa and write messages of peace or protest on scraps of colored cloth and tie them to the barbed wire. We also wrote on a hanky and tied it to the wall.

Hello, Kitty!

2007-02-27T07:46:00.000+09:00

Aren't these kitties cute? Maren, this blog post is just for you.
Love and kittens,
Joyce

i am what puffy likes to eat.

2007-02-26T16:54:00.002+09:00

I want to help all of you to understand how strange both Japan and my job are. Here are some of the things I have been told to say in class in the last few days:

"Constipated! Constipated! Constipated!"
"I always cover my dung." "I always cover my dung."
"I am what Puffy likes to eat." "I am what Puffy likes to eat."

I didn't dare ask who, or what, a Puffy was. The whole sentence sounded wrong. But I was supposed to be a crab. That much I was sure of. I'm thinking Puffy might have been Buffy, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Does anyone watch that show? Does Puffy like crab?

Now I'm going to tell you the story of constipated!

Due to senior graduation, my schedule has been completely turned on its head and I am now teaching with 3 English JTEs with whom I have never taught before. One of these people is insane. This story isn't about him though. One of these teachers is the new bright and shiny part of my day. Here's the only photo I have of him (which may give you an idea of why he is AWESOME).

On Friday we went to 2-6 together. I walk in. Class hasn't started yet. He tells me, onaka ga itai (my stomach hurts). Oh, I'm sorry I say. He turns back to the podium and leans on it, tapping his fingers restlessly and staring out at the class as they chatter amongst themselves. A few moments pass in silence, as I stand next to him and stare out at the class as well. From the serious look on his face I pick up with a quick peripheral glance, I assume we are contemplating their education, their futures, the fate of Okinawan... but then he turns back to me, blinks from behind his glasses and says in dead seriousness,

"I have diarrhea."

Ehhh, oh. I stutter back. He takes that as words of condolence, he nods, turns back out to face the class and exclaims in Japanese, "I have diarrhea!" "I have diarrhea, today my stomach doesn't feel good! Gas!"

Oh, too bad. The kids are in sympathy. Right, they don't seem to think this is weird. Then they start talking in Fast Japanese (a language I don't speak well) for a few minutes. Sensei turns back to me and says,

Yes, can you please write it on the board?

Uhhh, write what? I stutter again.

Diarrhea, yes please could you please give us the spelling? He nods encouragingly.

Well, you all know my spelling abilities. Like, as if each one of these blog entries doesn't get spell-checked twice and still have mistakes. I tell him I don't actually know how to spell that.

More Fast Japanese with students.

How about the other one? He queries. You know, Hand motions at his rear-end, then stomach and a bit of a batsu X made with his hand. Then ... No!

Luckily, I have become very good at figuring such speech out. Don't think that time has been spent in vain, ha!

Constipated? I ask.

Yes! That's right! Can you please share with us the spelling of that word on the board?

Suuuuuuure I can! I pick up a piece of pink chalk and write CONSTIPATED in giant block letters. Everyone stares at it.

Con-, conpi-, consuto-, conupa-, consuchi- Sensei tries to pronounce the word a few times in vain. The kids are also looking at it as if it is a habu snake.

Please, Joyce. You will read for us? Well, ok!

This is how I find myself shouting, "constipated!" "constipated!" "constipated!"

Everyone, try to repeat after Joyce! Sensei shouts, clearly enjoying himself (but not for any of the obvious reasons. Simply because we are learning new vocabulary).

I watch a sea of 30 kids frunch their brows and chorus, "conusuchipeeeto!"
Over. And over. And over again.

Wait, it gets better. Then sensei decides we need to practice this new word. He goes down the rows of students and one by one, asks each of them,

"[name], are you constipated?" Followed by a friendly smile and fatherly blink from behind his glasses. "No, I'm not constipated" answered each student. Until we got to the third row. Then, the kid in front answered, "Yes! I'm constipated!" Oh, the honesty. It kills me.

Tell me readers: what would happen in your respective cultures if an uncool, lanky kid in glasses in the front row said "I am constipated!" in front of the entire class? Not what happened here (and don't worry for not having figured out that this was coming, if you didn't. I wasn't expecting it at the time either).

You are?! Yes!!! Cries the teacher. Everyone claps. You are a winner, he informs the child. But hold on. We continue up and down the rows, just to make sure that no more constipated winners are lurking amongst us. As the last boy answers, "no I am not constipated," the teacher whirls around, races back to Lanky Glasses, grabs his arm and yanks him to his feet with a fist in the air shouting "You are the Champion! You are the champion!" and we have another round of applause, plus a few giggles from the kids who are with me on this one (surprisingly few).

What do you think this kid won? No don't guess, it's wrong. After all the cheers he got for not drinking his 8 cups a day, he got quite a disappointing prize. He got sent up to the front of the class to be blessed with a 2-minute real-life ekaiwa (English conversation) practice session with me.

Despite some suggestive eyebrow raises from sensei, I resolutely refused to utilize our new vocabulary and ask the child whether he was constipated during our chat.

Here's a picture of this class. Maybe it will help you understand more about them:

Interesting Facts about Japan #3

2007-02-25T11:41:00.000+09:00

* In the coffee section of the ubiquitous beverage vending machines here, there is a drink that I have always found to be surrounded by an air of mystery. UNTIL NOW. It's called "deepresso". Being who I am, I had never put much thought into why this coffee was called that, I just figured it had to do with depression... possibly it was reverse caffeinated? And steered clear. Yesterday, Jeff's ingenious friend J revealed the secret of deepresso: it's deep roasted espresso! But as Jeff points out, this is too long to fit on the can, and the Japanese are a people who very much like to make things shorter.

* There is no Ladies Night in Okinawa, except at the bar where a particular someone (whose name shall remain undisclosed) works. However, there is Ladies Day at the gas station. That's right JET ladies: were you aware that your gas might be 10 cents cheaper than the man's liter if you show up on the right day? You should ask. They've got this on Sunday at my station.

* If you buy a bottle of awamori (Okinawan rice liquor) at an izakaya (Japanese bar), you can consume part of it, and leave the rest there. The bar will keep your bottle in their storage area under your name for up to 2 months, and you can keep drinking from it every time you come.

LEFT: neko-chan guards a bottle of awamori and the bell one rings to get more awamori at a local bar.

* Japanese people are obsessed with point cards. Every place you go in this country has a point-o kaado that they swipe/stamp for you every time you shop there: the grocery store, the gas station, restaurants, department stores. After 7 months here, I must say I have yet to see a single one my point cards bear fruit (and I've got at least 5, cuz my supervisor signed me up for all of them in my first week here). How many hundreds of dollars of groceries do I have to buy at Kanehire before I get my measly 500 yen off??? Like $1,000. Whaaaaat, you're thinking. That's just depressing. Give up the point cards now, or don't even bother. The funny thing is, Japanese people are really enthusiastic about these incentives. I mean, these folks are in it for the long haul. Tell an America that you have to shop at one particular grocery store for 2 years every week and then you'll give them the equivalent of one box of free cereal and they'll rip that up and throw it back in your face. I want my free stuff NOW! I want buy one get one FREE! I want a coupon I can hold in my hand for 50 cents off my next can of kidney beans. Are you guys with me on this? Patience is definitely a virtue that Japanese society has more of than I do. And yet, I'm still handing my point cards over, every time.

I hope you now feel one step closer to understanding my way of life.

the best

2007-02-24T08:44:00.000+09:00

AHHH! The funniest valentines day card yet made its appearance yesterday. Here it is.

my Dragon Boat Racing team

2007-02-22T07:25:00.000+09:00

ROAR! I may have mentioned to a few of you that I joined a Dragon Boat Racing team several months ago. Japanese Dragon Boat racing is called Harii... or any spelling variation thereof. Its from the Chinese word for `dragon`, so Im told. My team likes to transcribe it Harlee, because our leader drives a Harley motorcycle and he thinks it makes us sound like we`ve got more power between our legs. Eh. Either way our girls team is still called the Pink Pandas so I`m counting on that name counterbalancing any power the harlee punch was packing.

I joined this team one week before they ended seasonal practice and took a 4-month break for winter. I went to some practices but not many people were there, nor did they really involve boats (rather, a large fellow in spandex smiling and shouting for me and Jon to keep up with the ten billion sets of squats we had been roped into, having thought we were just going to `observe`. And then they made Jon roll metal weights up and down his shins and he must have scars to prove it). Meaning that I actually had only met a handful of people on the team, 5 months ago. So this past Saturday I was invited to the team New Years party, despite not really feeling a part of the team or knowing anyone. You're thinking that its a little late for New Years festivities... ah, but you are wrong. We were celebrating the Chinese New Year. Above and to the left you can see what Dragon Boat Racing (which begins in May) looks like.

I almost didn't go to this party, because truth be told I have been doubting the decision to join the Dragon Boat Racing team ever since I made it. In order to protect myself from sounding lame, let me explain the circumstances under which I joined the Pink Panda team. This explanation shall be interspersed with some party photos, to liven it up.

Here you see what I have dubbed the Funnel Of Death. There was a massive earthenware jug full of awamori (which is about 40% alcohol, I think) at our party. The bamboo dipper you see in the photo above was supposed to be used to dip awamori from the jug through a funnel into smaller clay teapots from which people would poor their poison. Around midnight, it began to be used thus instead: to drown poor Shi in alcohol. I hope he was ok the next day. I doubt it.

One night in October I found myself with some friends at Hinotama Hall (our favorite Japanese club). There was dancing, there was merriment, there was beer and loud loud music and that DJ who always makes shirtless appearances after 1am. Due to limited seating, we joined a group of Japanese people at their table. Lo and behold, these friendly folk turned out to be dragon boat racers. As we all swayed to the music in a drunken stupor and shouted to each other in mutually unintelligible languages over the din of blaring music, there came a moment where we felt The Bond of Friendship form. Our hearts beat as one heart! Our glasses clinked against each other to the same unearthly beat! (or was that just the bass?) Im sure you all know the Bond of Friendship from your own experiences being drunk with strangers. Anyway.

JOIN OUR TEAM OUR DRAGON BOAT RACING TEAM!!!!!! They cried to me.

YEEEEEEES! MOCHIRON, OF COURSE! I cried back. Bliss.

It seemed a spectacular idea at the time. Rowing! Something I've never done. Something I have never been (nor am I now) interested in doing. Exercise. Hm, I don't do that. Arms. No, I don't do those either.Japanese men are fine being touchy-feely if they are drunk. Don't you wish Americans were like this? (I know... CFS boys are!!!!! RepreSENT!)

The kimono-wearing girl was given one beer too many.

Well, not being in a high state of genkidom the weekend that this party rolled around (5 months after the Bond of Friendship had worn off), I still managed to drag myself out of the house to the party. I was half planning on telling them I'd given up and they could count me off their team... I'd be no good anyway, only drag them down and whatnot. But just about as soon as the alcohol started flowing, the team chief sat down next to me and began to talk about how wonderful it was that I had joined the team. Because international cooperation is key, and Okinawa really cares about cooperation between Americans and the islanders. They had been distressed for a long time because their men's team was international (having 2 Americans) but their ladies' team had been lagging. For months they have been anguishing: will Joyce actually join us in the Spring (or will she be a lame American, say she will do something and bow out when training starts?) But here I am, and they are filled with joy at my coming. Beam Beam Beam.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah!!!! Of course, I once again ended up enthusiastically agreeing to be on the team. But seriously, the people are great fun, and I think it'll be awesome. Practice starts March 4th. Wish me luck, I'm definitely going to need it.

But getting to wear the funny outfits they wear when racing is going to make up for everything. Plus, the simple fact that I can tell people I'm "on a dragon boat racing team". Deshou?

the secret of nabe

2007-02-21T15:21:00.000+09:00

Ok ok, I`ll actually tell you why Nabe is a funny name for my car. Asta is right on: nabe means pot in Japanese. Isnt that funny enough, right there?

My car is Okinawan and clearly female, so after a nomikai (drinking party) one night I asked my female co-workers, "what is a typical Okinawan female name?" Shouko hiccoughs (being somewhat tipsy at the time this occurred), sways, ponders for a moment, raises her index finger and proclaims NABE!. Case closed.

Why would this be a name for a person, you are wondering. Before WWII, it wasn't uncommon for women in Okinawa to be named after common household kitchen items. One of these names was Nabe. So, thats pretty much just weird and hilarious by itself.

A last twist on the story is that the most famous woman poet in Okinawan history (my sources on this are Etsuko sensei and Jeff) was named Nabe. Onna Nabe (Ms. Pot Woman).

So its a good name! Respectibiggle (as some cheerful Marsh-wiggles might say) and full of Okinawan cultural history.

Valentine's Day Class

2007-02-20T23:26:00.000+09:00

Yay! Another blog entry where we get to look at student handicrafts. I am doing Vday class this week because last week was finals. We don't let tests get in the way of exposure to American culture though, not here in Japan. Basically I threw colored markers and piles of colored paper at the kids and screeched, "barentainzu!" Then sat down on a chair and ignored them for 50 minutes. Poof. Here's what I got.

Once again, about a dozen thoughtful youngsters made their cards for Joyce Teacher. This one is my favorite. This guy loves me with all of his heat.
Then sometimes it's just nice to see someone this self assured:

And my favorite girl student in the whole school made me this beautiful card. Today was her b-day. You can see that she thanks me for the present I gave her (assorted stickers dug with haste out of my sticker drawer and thrown into my carrot ziplock bag from lunch, 5 minutes before class started, when I remembered her b-day).

My favorite card of all was this one. It was made by a 17 year old boy for his best friend Yoshito, who sits directly beside him. Yoshito was busily making Ryo a love card as well. Watching them scribble away right there beside each other and then exchange cards made my day. Imagine how good you would feel if you got this card from your friend:

Ok, what's up with the Japanese kids drawing eyeballs on all their hearts? Has anyone else noticed this? And the scary chick at the bottom... like, is that what love looks like?

This is how much sense Japanese people make when they speak English. My whole day at school is just nonsense sentences strung together like this card, to which i answer oh reary! and bob my head enthusiastically. The weird thing is, these kids had the Japanese translation of all these sentences on the print out I gave them. It wasn't as if they didn't understand what they were writing. Is this how they talk in Japanese too? I may never know, since I lost all interest in learning the language about one month after I got here (I think I forgot to tell most of you that.)

For some, the card making process was more spiritual than anything else.
And then once again, there were those with imaginary pets as their only loved ones.
Some kids kept the message simple and to the point.
there were those who, in their gleeful haste, failed to remember that this was an exercise in the English Language.
The straightforward:
The wondrously cute and cuddly.
I know I show you the cool ones. At the end of the day, most of them just look like this: