The Ostrich Egg and I

Ok, so many of you may remember me mentioning a vague desire to be involved in the ostrich-egg painting going on at my high school. You had better not wish too hard outloud around here, my friends. Friday at school I ran across the art sensei in the hall. Hmmm, got to make small talk in, urhg, this extremely unwieldly foreign language.

Me: "Uhhhhh, so, ostrich egg, art class, paint!" (large hand motions).
sensei: "m, ostrich eggs, hai."
Me: "sugoi. cool. um, I want... paint ostrich egg...too... someday. cool idea."

He bows and nods enthusiastically, we part ways, I feel accomplished for having had an exchange with art-sensei without an interpreter. I take a seat at my desk. Appr. 1 minute later, enter art-sensei with ostrich egg in hand. He flourishes it before me and sensei on the left translates, "here is an ostrich egg, douzo." I take the egg, and with it, unwittingly accept a time-sensative mission that will make or break my art career at Ginowan High. The senseis begin talking rapidly to each other in Japanese. Finally sensei on the left understands. With a beaming smile she turns to me and proclaims, "Please finish painting this egg by 4pm today. It will be put on exhibit in the Okinawa City art museum at 9pm tonight."

uhhhhhh. Come again?

sensei: "can you do?"
Me: "hn, chotto, well, I have class to teach." (that means.... HELL NO!!!!)
sensei: "ok, you teach three and four period. you will paint, 5, 6 period?" Beam, beam, beam.
Settled. Beam! I will do.

ALRIGHT! it's on, baby. Me and the egg, the egg and I. Egg, we've got several short hours at the end of the school day to become one. I frantically grab paint supplies from the art room (to the great amusement of the students, who seem to think it is hilarious to see me anywhere in Okinawa except the actual English classroom, like I live there or something), create a visual barrier a la mound-o'-books between my desk and kocho-sensei's viewing field (as I feel that acrylic ostrich egg painting may not be on the list of appropriate ways to employ yourself while you're on the payroll), and race to beat the clock. Not only did I have to paint this egg, I had to do a reasonably good job, because apparently it was going on display in an ART MUSEUM (sweet mother of god WHY??) along with all the other Satanic number of (666) eggs that the students had worked on for the last MONTH (note the difference in time allotted for completion of project).

To make a long story short, and to avoid you breaking out in an nervous sweat (unless you live here in Oki, and then you're probably already sweating) the catastrophe was avoided in proper time. In fact, Kocho-sensei ended up sitting next to me and watching for the last 20 minutes (along with about 20 other senseis, munching away at omiyage). Apparently egg-painting is a-okay to do during work hours at my place of employment. Should have expected it, if taking a nap every day in the tatami room makes the cut.

But man, talk about being careful what you wish for.