Jesus was a Socialist

Since my job here is to expose Japanese children to American culture, I spend one week of almost every month giving classes on whatever American holiday is going on. There was... my birthday, then Halloween, then Thanksgiving, now Christmas. There will most likely be Valentines Day, Mardi Gras, Saint Patricks Day, Groundhogs Day, and Easter. I plan to consume as much time as possible with holiday cheer, in fact. Saves me from boring book lessons.

Anywho. For us, it is difficult to imagine a world with no Christmas... or a world without Christianity. Even if we aren't Christians, we know what Christians are. We know what the Bible is, heaven and hell,　the Garden of Eden, Satan, the Virgin Mary, sin, salvation, etc. This all has a certain rhyme and reason, even if we disagree with it.

Yeaaaaaah.
Kids here don't know about that. They know that Christmas means presents, xmas trees, Santa-san (Mr. Santa), and most important, that Christmas is the #1 day to go out on a date with your girlfriend in Japan. Yea! Christmas is big time Date Day here. The busiest restaurant day of the year. Disconnected from that, they know that white people like to talk about a dude named Kurisuto (Christ). People in Japan are all either Buddhist or Shinto, with something like 1% being Christian (in Okinawa they traditionally practice animism, but Im not sure how widespread this is anymore).

So this week is my Christmas lesson. I sat there and thought, what on Earth am I going to talk about? I don't just want to talk about Santa Claus and stockings, cuz they know that already. Am I going to tell them the Christmas story, about Jesus` birth? No Im not... my teachers all negged on the idea of me explaining the Virgin Mary. The children will want know, how have baby no sex, they say. Well, right, that's the POINT of the story... oh forget it.

Am I going to explain what Christianity is? Hm. Its a major world religious that for once, someone doesn't know anything about. But... I envisioned myself telling my kids that a large percentage of the worlds inhabitants believe that this guy with a long white beard who lives in the sky made the world in 7 days, then made a person out of clay, then of all things, a girl got made out of a bone, and there was an apple tree, and a snake, and poof! Original Sin...and Im fuzzy on what happened then in the middle... and here we are today! Nope. Wasn't gonna fly. I could see their confused faces before me. The questions that would be asked:

- But why couldn't eat apples? Confirming to students on either side, apples healthy, ne.
- Was it habu snake in apple tree?

I wouldnt be able to answer these questions, and then that round-faced kid in the front row of 1-5 would jump out of his seat, throw his arms wide and boom (as always), I...LIKE...FISHING!!!!!
I shudder at the thought of yet another conversation with this kid about various types of Okinawan fish. It always ends with me not understanding what he is trying to say, he looks frustrated, then bounces back, brandishing an imaginary sword and shouting, Japanese... SAMURAI, YEA!!!! This is his way of reproducing the lost connection with me. Im not sure why.

Back to explaining Christianity: the entire Christian concept of Sin and Salvation is foreign to these kids. Its a very big topic and I certainly am not the one who should explain it to them. But I'm what they got.

Ok, make it simple, Joyce. I think. The big JC's b-day. Give 'em the facts. Who was Jesus? Now, I'm definitely not an expert on Christianity. My facts could be rusty. But I went ahead and thought it over to myself, as it seemed like a good thing to do. who the hell IS Jesus?

Below is the what is written on the board after I'm done with my short but sweet history lesson, word for word:

Dec. 25
deeto する、だめ!
religious holiday, Christians

JESUS AND CHRISTIANITY:
Son of God
sent to earth as human to save us from our sins
'savior'
what is 'SIN'?
(die, heaven, hell)

JESUS AS HISTORICAL FIGURE:
Jesus - Jew
pretty cool dude
- social justice and social equality
- redistribution of wealth
- `love your enemies`
- non-violence
- subversive
-arrested, executed, martyr

I give my head a scratch and take a look at what the board boils down to.

"Ehhh, basically kids, Jesus was a socialist."

I sum it up, and leave it for my JTE to translate however they see fit.

Pause. Those few students who remain awake consider the information I've given them with what seems to be a careful eye. What are they thinking, I wonder. Have I made any sense at all? Is the question about the habu snake in the apple tree coming?

Finally, one kid in the front row nods approvingly. 「ジザス、すげ 」 he says.

Jesus is cool, indeed.
And my work is done for the day.